Well ... (i think i got that expression from a song somewhere, everything in life is remix as we are a product of environment and past experiences, with, hopefully , a bit of soul as a catalyst to make it into "us" (or the 'me') instead of just another box-rolled-down-the-chaingang prefab template with an iThing skin wrapped up around to give it a fake sense of ID)
It's hard to wear your own face at all times but not everyone can just put on that fake one on demand.
Why apologize. Creativity is not "a product", you cannot creativity from nine to five, as some boss-men and -women would like you to. It doesn't work like that. Unless you get the spark and the flow, which basically comes by itself

i used to "knit samples" (among other things) almost daily and never really plan or compose ...

but it stopped at some time ...

and if i try to "try" then what comes out i feel is utter crud lol, "trying" doesn't work if it's not already there, and if it's there it's pushing to get out ...

right ?

The music's coming through me ... as the dude says ... but its all a mental flatline now, i got a few up on @rudyardcatling and i had a lot on choon which i actually never bothered putting online as its not pop and i'm not interested in spotlights and center stages (but i do <3 money :p) but that wanker from Manchester kicked me off for some reason and my 360.000 notes are gone

and then this and that lol, and my RC omg ... so i'll see when you post, thanks for all the support for @goldmanmorgan again (i probablly won't respond to actifit cards heheh ... i'm lost for words there but no judgment ..)