Some time ago, I went for a holiday at a close family friend's house that we grew up together, and one evening like that, when we were about to have dinner, the head of the family was also there with us, and the food he was served, he was just looking at it without eating, and when his wife asked why he was not eating, he said it was nothing wrong. His voice is too controlled to actually be fine.
Just a few days after what happened at the dining, their family doctor called the house directly, not even the man this time. I mean, the house phone and what he asked for was his wife. I remember because we were in the sitting room that moment, and using my other ear to follow up with their discussion, the wife's face was changing slowly from a kind of happy face to someone who was totally confused and looking for what to say. She was kind of scared, and something she said was that,, “we will be there tomorrow morning.”
Unfortunately, this man had developed a heart condition, which has become a serious one that will eventually need surgery, but for him, he already knew that for a month and kept it all to himself, not even saying a word about it to his woman he had been married to for over eighteen years. He has been going alone to see the doctor always, and every single time, goes back to his house and does all his work with him, acting like a man with no sickness but only work stress.
After hearing the whole story, I got to know that this doctor had been telling him every single time to relay the news to his wife. But he has kept on refusing, and the condition keeps getting worse. Any time he went for checkups, the doctor was left with no choice but to call the family number directly, not minding who picked up the call to break the news, something he was not supposed to break because the alternative was watching a man who seemed stubborn quietly decide his own death when he still has children and a wife.
What I kept remembering was not even the drama after, because the man survived after proper monitoring and surgery that was perfect. His life continued; I still saw him last week, and I see him occasionally even though it's been a while since what happened happened. But what I was much more concerned about was how he chose to stay silent during those moments. I feel he did not hide it from them because he distrusted his family members. He decided to hide it because if he was seen as fragile by people who depended on him, it felt like a smaller death than the actual one waiting quietly in his chest.
I have seen lawyers hold and talk about lawyer-client privileges and from other professionals too, which I used to think the main purpose was to protect the person confiding. And now that I know better, I feel it is also meant to protect something else too, which is this other side of the person only a stranger in a white lab coat is ever allowed to see, the one still too ashamed to sit at his own family's table and simply say, I am afraid.
Thank you for reading.
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