Just last week, I was in a conversation with someone, and this topic came up as one of the conversations that we briefly discussed, talking about the grassroots, the importance of sex education right from when a child is small.
I was in my sister's house some time ago when her kids returned from school, and inside the oldest bag was an envelope that her teacher always uses for important messages that she does not want to mix it up with her books, and in it was written a single permission slip for something called family life education. She brought out the letter from her bag, slightly too warm to touch comfortably, not sure whether she was in trouble for bringing such home.
Handling over the letter to my sister, she signed as she opened it, while I also collected it and read through it. Then I paused what I was doing for a minute, because reading through the letter had just done something my own parents never managed to talk to me about for a long while under their roof, force the conversation into the open instead of leaving it to whispers between older cousins and half-understood scenes on television nobody explained afterward.
While I was growing up and from what I have heard people say, the closest our parents came then was to tell us to face our books and avoid the opposite sex in all possible ways. They said that without going any further or backing it up with any solid expectations as to why they said it. I never understood some of the things being said, so the topic itself was dangerous to ask about directly.
That afternoon, I remained with my sister, and I saw how she answered her daughter using the actual words for all the actual body body parts. She never used any form of coded names that some of us usually use something because doing so might give her daughter a bad impression that some of her body parts are too shameful to be called by the real names. I saw how she educated her on the kind of touches that are welcome and the type that are not welcome from anyone, even from those who she knows or trusts, and that opening up to her by always saying that truth will never in a way put her in any form of trouble, but not saying it out would.
And in my opinion, I don't know, or let me say there is no particular age for the sex education of a thing. I think the right time is starting so early when our curiosity tells us or exposure arrives first, a permission slip, television, or an object from someone, classmates, because in my honest opinion, whoever gives an answer first shapes what the child is going to accept and believe about the subject going forward.
Most parents are not wicked or cruel because they were not also taught, and it was passed down to them too. But in my own case, I have decided that I will do better, and I have refused to inherit that just like my sister is doing better too.
Thank you for reading.
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