There is always a moment that I consider specific when I receive a good news and when I actually believe it. And for me, I always fill that gap with one person. A very close friend of mine. Not even my my family members or bloodline. I think I have seen this question before a while ago, and I thought deeply about it, and my honest answer is that he receives everything I tell him, my good news in particular without asking practical questions or interrogating me which that might quietly deflate those first few minutes.
On the other hand, my mum after recieving the good news or anything positive will have said, “oh praise God, so what is your next move?” I did not say that is wrong. To me, it just gives different energy and vibes from what the first few moments of sharing should have been.
My friend, Emma will only receive the good news. Respond with something real and short. Right on point. And sometimes, he responds in a way that his laughing will say it all. And that is the type of response and reaction that makes some news settle properly inside me without overthinking. Though I sometimes just keep some news to myself.
Not until recently, I never realised what exactly I was actually looking for in the first call. It is not even about sharing information. Right before I picked up my phone, the first news already exists. What I am actually reaching out for is someone to be a witness. Someone whose response is going to change the thing from a fact to the actual feeling. Because, sometimes, if we do not have that witness, the news might slightly just be there with this unreal vibes, like something that happened to someone that I almost am. That kind of a thing.
Late last year, I got a news that I had been waiting on for some time. I placed a call to this my guy immediately. Though I interrupted his sleep, he picked up later on, listened to my discussion without intercepting, and the response he gave was exactly what I needed at that moment. We stayed on the call for some minutes to discuss some other things before we later hung up, and when I did, I felt that newness at that moment.
A couple of months ago, he got his own news. I feels he has also been waiting for it for a while. But I found out through the WhatsApp post he made. Not a call, not a direct message either either.
I did take it personal, not did I asked for explanation. I was happy for him. But a thought came to mind, not a hurtful thought..just like me rearranging something I had assumed without having a proper examination about it.
What happened did not change anything because we are still very much close. But been someone's first call and proximity are totally two different types of things entirely that doesn't always belong to the same person. I never new about this because I have been taking them as if they are the same.
Thank you for reading.
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