@bhoa ,.. that's quite common, .. so you are not alone. There is a brilliant way to learn and prove yourself by doing a combine with some a few companies. The way it works is that you pay a small monthly fee to trade a virtual account. Once you have proved yourself as a competent and consistent trader they will fund you. Just be wary it's not as easy as you may think, the rules are there to teach you so expect to fail to start with.
Once you are funded they will take 20% and you get 80%, which is quite fair if you don't have the capital. Google - 'Earn2trade' or 'Topstep trader'
Have a look, tell me your thoughts.