I bring you greetings from this side of the divide. It's been a summer you left ; of emptiness and vacuum. Today, I lay it all out. Emotions. And of words. Words hidden in depth and layers of feigned and crumbled courage.
'Men do not cry' for these words have I consoled my soul with, smeared my heart over and fed on to live. But, in silence have a thousand deaths occurred within the very chamber that houses the beat.
The day of your transition is memorable as flashes of replayed memory come alive - gloom.
After the wail and tale of members of inner cabinets and continuous consolation on their parts for me, I was irritated by their mock looks and piteous pities and in gentility left to mourn you as I so desired. Like swollen diseased feet the earth refused movement even with great effort and less paces mother earth felt close to me. In somberity, my weary heart carried me to the confines of the walled box where neither could console as I swam in the torrents of flooded tears. A teary meal I ate until my stomach growled and eyes soured from outburst and strength exhausted and heart empty of content.
Then, I felt it.
At the door - a being; a presence ever so present yet absent from the present. It moved. Closer. Slowly and gently towards me. Panic. Panic. More panic. Too weak to move as I was dressed in exhaustion. He came, bent and lifted me and in seconds of zillion energies, strength was restored.
I was happy to see him;touch him;feel him.Overwhelming. Joyed. Fulfillment. And like Zeus' bolt we locked lips. A kiss of momentary seal of transformed bodies, a passion so missed within hours of physical departure and hearts connecting like frequencies.
'You left without notice, why? I questioned as we walked through paths during our mortal form.
' creator's call pulseracer, I had to answer. He needed extra hand for more work and I was best qualified for it. I am sorry I didn't give heads up, the messenger was in haste and I tried reaching you through your dreams. Did you get my message?'
'Oh! I see, I felt chilly this morn and I thought it was the weather never knew you were reaching. I was distorted a bit, there was a break in transmission... So umm, what was it The Creator wanted you to do for Him?'
'confidential sweet, top secret. You need to...erm..be dead to know it. Like really dead.
'I am dead. I don't feel my body or something, I feel one like you...ain't I?
'you ain't. I had to sneak out to have a glimpse of you once more after succeeding in stealing a little portion of body transformation and I got caught by Hilkah but I promised to work his shift and mine and he let me have the portion. I. Miss. You. It is like a million year here while few seconds in Earth'.
'kill me. make me like yo...
'I can't, it is not in my position to. It is not yet your time. You have a lot of full energy ahead and you are yet to use it. Gee, you are needed on Ear..
'shut up. Just stop it okay. I am not needed on Earth. I am empty... Humans are terrible beings. Did you look at the faces of those people? Did you really see them? Now you are dead, I guess you saw their hearts and could tell who felt what for you. Let me stay with you'.
'Don't be foolish Gee'. He thundered and clouds became dark with rising mist 'you have things and stuff to do, staying here is WORTHLESS until your purpose is accomplished. I really will miss you, I sure will but Earthlings need you. They have to hear your voice on that stage. You have to be strong for us; be strong for me, be strong for you...
'I have no voice yet'. I don't think it will ever be found or heard, I am not as strong as you think I am. I need help,you are that help and helping me is making me stay with you'.
'I have always believed in you and always will. Your strength lies inward' pointing his index finger to my chest ' inwards Gee'. You..
Tick tock tick
'it is time, I must return and so must you. I will send you a letter and a gift. A very special gift.' An embrace I never wanted release from nor a touch to grow cold of
,scent I took breath of for the last time as I knew this was it. His eyes as I recall shone of hope and smiled brightly with beauty looking penetratively into mine, garment purely white a colour which I have no words to weave as it glowed so powerful like the rising sun became blinding as his form dissolved into a million fireflies quickly dispersing.
I found myself on the cold tiled floor as I lifted me up with gradual strength into a sitting position. My head was the working anvil of a blacksmith only that there was no blacksmith, cheeks had dried tear stain and the marks were visible, pupils was a slight colour of red with protruding eye bags, hair scattered as the elastic band which once held it in place came off and trimmed nails had traces of dried dirt hiding whatever black I scratched from. I was the look of a madwoman only sane and properly dressed then the wamble of my internal sac announced itself - hunger. As I lifted to go help my exhausted self to food, under my jean butt slipped a paper, it was a letter. A letter without a known address but a source I knew from whence it came. My eyes was not ready to read any organised sentence until I had fed my body so I dumped the letter and headed straight to the kitchen. Coming out with a plate of full edibles, the letter which as I remembered was left on the floor found its way to my bed. After eating half the content of my plate, I took the letter running my eyes through every word a thousand times and smiling to self. Those words like an X on a treasure map has shown what lies ahead and like a sailor I follow its lead and as for the very special gift it is in the treasure.
Written by Gloria Lawrence.