Yeah, It's My Birthday
It's raining again. Not unusual for Western Oregon, but somewhat strange for this part of June. I can't remember if it's ever rained on my birthday before.
But then, we don't usually have 90-degree weather mid-June either (which we had this year), so what's a little rain?
I guess a thunderstorm blew up the valley while I was over on the coast yesterday getting my hand smashed and my rear end chewed out. Okay, the hand smashing happened, the chewing out was kind of a shared deal, and not really meant for me or my trainer.
At any rate, I guess where I'm going with this is, it's my birthday, but it's feeling like any other day.
Which is generally what happens when you get to be my age. In fact, it's been going on for a while now.
Who Celebrates 53?
I was born in the early morning on June 27, 1966, a month ahead of schedule to the day, apparently, and according to my mother, I looked like a tiny old man with red hair on my ears. A literal Benjamin Button. Except I guess I dewrinkled and looked like a baby after that.
The red hair did not migrate to my head (that was more of a brown color before it mostly fell out on top), and the real funny thing is, I don't think I've made it quite back around to the old man look. Give me another ten or so years.
I have to work today and so does my wife, so there won't be much going on until Saturday, when I guess we'll be going out to eat and my sons might take me to a movie. I haven't seen Avengers: Endgame yet, and so they've been suffering for two months waiting to ask me all kinds of questions. I almost want to wait another month until the movie comes out on iTunes, just to make them 'suffer' a little more, but I'm sure that's just the grumpy middle aged man in me, not the real me.
Do People Still Reflect On Their Lives?
I can't say I've made it much of a habit over the years on my birthday to sit down and think about my life, mainly because there will be something that will happen some other time that will put me into reflection mode, but since I'm sitting here writing this, let's see what I can come up with.
My life has been good. Very good at times, but mostly good. I've had some lows, no doubt, but even those have turned out for my benefit. I was on the road to insufferableness at that age of five, so a healthy dose of humility administered throughout the years has helped me realize that it's not just about me, and that I need forgiveness and patience along with everybody else.
I'm just not the guy that's going to stick out in the crowd, even if I'm in the spotlight in my head. I'm okay with that. I do better behind the scenes anyway, and being the height of attention would drive me crazy. I have a hard enough time being in a crowded room with a bunch of strangers for anything length of time. I used to have delusions of grandeur, but thankfully those have been tempered over the years with enough quiet accomplishments to help me focus on what truly matters.
It's The Little Things
I think if I had any wisdom to impart, it would be to take care of the little things. The big things tend to follow. Be the person you want to have in your life, and you will attract like people. Don't be afraid to take risks, but realize that you're largely operating without a net and there might not be someone there who can (even if they're willing) to catch you when you fall. In other words, the only one responsible for you is you.
Be happy. Don't stress. I don't mean go with the flow and live life without a care. Know what you can control (you), know what you can't control (virtually everything else), and learn to be happy with what you have while seeking something greater. That something greater doesn't always have to be personal, or your achievement alone. Watching my sons become parents has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Except for being a part of bringing them into this world and trying to make sure they didn't leave it again while they were growing up, their becoming responsible adults is all them. I haven't been there every moment making every decision, thankfully.
Yeah, I might have taught them a thing or two (my wife tends to think I gave them all of their bad habits), but there's only so much a parent can do. You do your best, make the sacrifices, but in the end, children must choose their own paths.
Keep The Faith
Life can be difficult at times. If I believed that this was all there is, I'd probably give up. But since I hope for a better place once I'm gone from this one, I feel like I have a need to stay involved and productive and become as good a person, husband, father, grandfather, son, brother and whatever other title I might hold and hope to uphold, as I can.
I had my first mid-life crisis when I was 30. I had another one later. So, I know what it's like to feel that nothing has been accomplished. It's worse now, with everything even more accelerated where you feel like you're a failure at 15 if you're not already a YouTube star or haven't created the next killer app.
Success that early in life tends to mess with the mind. And then what do you do for an encore? Better to go throughout life racking up achievements on a slow upward trend then have it all happen all at once when your young, I would say.
Life isn't over until it's over. Keep swinging for the fences. Keep your head in the clouds as long as your feet on are the ground (it might be okay to float a little here and there). Things don't always work out, but generally, they work out for our good.
It's Still Raining...
I have the door propped open. I do that most mornings during the summer because my home office heats up and gets stuffy otherwise. It's cooler than it's been because of the clouds and the moisture. It's actually kind of nice.
Silver linings, as they say.
Onward and upward.
Image source—Glen Anthony Albrethsen