I’m serious, a wizard. Maybe not the magic-magic type as in Lord of the Rings Gandalf kind of wizard, or Harry Potter, but more the modern double masters Oxford Rhodes Scholar, tamper with the laws of physics and chemistry kind of wizard.
He shot me one day, in late October, all the leaves fallen. I had moved into neighborhood six months prior and I was cleaning the sloped roof of my garage out back. He stood some thirty feet away in his back yard. I got a warning call, and then he shot me. Though his aim wasn’t as good as his magic, the Twix went sailing over my head. With his next shot he landed me a snack.
“Thanks!” I shouted as he walked back into his house with his newly built magic staff. The initial idea was to be a cheese ball launching wizard staff for Halloween.
I guess the magic grew quickly from there, skipped the cheese balls and went from Twix, to Snickers, to flame throwing. His magical powers now also include a fog staff.
So, as cooped up Minnesotans on a Saturday night stuck in a blizzard of 12+ inches of snow, we called the neighbors up for a whiskey night. Ideas were passed around and we couldn’t handle the thought of shoveling snow anymore…
Oh! And you can buy one of these Magical Wizard staff yourself:
Music by: Goatwhore "Cold Earth Consumed In Dying Flesh"
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