Older woman have an important role in family life
Grandmothers and older unrelated women can exert a steadying influence that moderates many of the stresses that affect the next generation. Their influence and values can guide; their practical wisdom is of great value to young families.
Women in modern societies now usually live long and healthy lives so it is not uncommon for them to spend around a third of their life post-menopause. These years are as an important a time for them as they are for their families. Their life, family experience and wisdom pass values and cultural traditions to the next generation, usually, combined with a great deal of practical help.
In some situations older women may continue to work so they can contribute financially to their extended families who may be struggling with the cost of raising a family and housing.
After raising her own family a women’s place in society becomes one of being the useful experienced older woman; perhaps the grandmother or friend who, now that she has time, can support her extended family. Occasionally there may not be a direct relationship and sometimes this support is given at arms length but it can mean being directly involved with a young family. These women are usually well equipped with life experience for a valuable role as carers or mentors.
For many woman their post-menopause years can be one of the better times in their lives as they now enjoy freedom from pressing family issues and they are probably as well off financially as they are ever going to be. Now, free of work they have time to enjoy interests or shared activities with friends just for fun and companionship. They can now also make themselves available for their families and perhaps some voluntary work.
These women can be relaxed about their input now because they usually see themselves as being at arms length from most problems. This degree of separation can shield them from the stress and worries of their vicarious family involvement but doesn't lessen the value of their input. At this stage of their lives they have the life experience to be understanding and accepting. By now they know themselves, know what they want and expect and are relaxed and settled about life and friendships. Their experience, compassion and understanding can be a very steadying influence within family and society.
Having a cool headed matriarch in a family is invaluable when it comes to infusing cultural attitudes and life skills into a family. The pattern they and their partners set throughout their child raising years is likely to establish a blueprint that is followed by their off spring even though it might appear to be spurned at first. The younger generation need to spread their social, moral and political wings as they find their place in the world but often, despite themselves, they end up adopting many of the conventions of their upbringing. Of course, many older men are often exceptionally good in this role also.
A friendly non-judgemental older person such as a grandmother, aunt or family friend can often have a rapport with a young person in a way that a parent can’t. They can share confidences and offer guidance in a low key way that can be very helpful to young people who are often reluctant to discuss things with their parents that they perceive might cause a fuss. Trouble prone adolescents may often find a non judgemental grandmother a valuable friend.
The role of grandparents is very important when it comes to the nurture of children, Even if they live some distance away grandparents play an important role as the long distance influence and occasional visits can be very important to young children and a help to young mothers. Grandmothers often seem to be closer to grandchildren than grandfathers. Their keen interest in the children's activities, school reports and so on is greatly valued by children. Women seem to communicate easily with children but grandfathers also have an important role here. A friendly caring adult male is also an extremely valuable asset to families.
Many young mothers are keen to have a mature, friendly and supportive adult(s) on their side as they try and keep their young family on track to be good, well behaved socially adjusted people. Positive reinforcement and support from a grandmother is invaluable.
The role of grandparents, especially grandmothers, in helping raise their grandchildren seems to be increasing as young parents increasingly try and combine work and child rearing. Grandmothers are also valuable transporters of children to extra-curricular activities, babysitters, shoppers and general family personal assistants. This loyal fully involved help for a family cannot usually be obtained elsewhere. It is not unknown for grandmothers to give up some or all of their work or spare time to help their extended family.
Grandparents will sometimes even relocate so they can play a role in raising their grandchildren as it is common for young people to live a considerable distance from their parents. Often relationships are formed and families started an ocean apart from the grandparents and often it is only feasible for the grandparents to move closer.
If a young persons relationship fails they often turn to family for support until they are able to re-establish themselves.
Over the millennia women likely evolved to have a long life after menopause when their usefulness proved to be valuable for the survival of their descendants. It seems unlikely they could help the survival of future generations if they were continually with child themselves. Even in a time of plenty the value of an older woman to a young family is too important to be overlooked.
By the time their own children start getting old enough to become grandparents themselves these influential older women’s role will have gradually diminished and the need for their support will have largely ended. By this time they will be of an age where they will now be content to sit back and quietly enjoy their extended family from a greater distance. Their families may still seem to orbit around them even, if at times, the younger generation appears to be from a different planet. By now their role will have switched from involvement to admirer and encourager.
Another often overlooked role of older woman is that of caregiver to their men folk. Without a good woman to, if not to run their life but at least try and influence it, many older men would not eat well, may not exercise and might even become rather solitary. By subtly or otherwise influencing the diet, drinking habits and lifestyle of their partners, caring women can and do play a big role in keeping men healthy.
Obviously there is an advantage for both in this as it often results in healthier older men and more likelihood of partners having a healthier time together as they grow into old age. It also means a reduced chance of one having to look after a semi-invalid partner or it means their retirement activities are not limited by the ill health or lack of fitness of a partner.
The role of caregiver seems to sit very comfortably with a lot of older woman who have a natural concern for their partner’s and extended families welfare.
Looking after people is a wonderful way to express ones love and there are a good many men who go to great lengths to support and care for their partners and families. Old guys can be pretty good partners and granddads too!
Grandmothers – this list is from http://www.grandmotherproject.org
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