Hi Everyone
I have never told anyone about my depression before so this is not going to be easy
So where do I start ..... I suppose like any other "normal" day with the struggle to motivate myself out of bed which usually takes on a work day around half an hour to an hour so I set my alarms to wake up two hours before i have to leave for work and if left to my own devices this would last up to 24h if it wasn't the need to eat and answer the call of nature, this reluctance to leave the bedroom increases when the housemates are around not because I don't like them its that I just can't handle them when I'm like this.
If I'm having a good week its great i mean it I love life so much and i'm literally on top of the world and this can last for a couple of months or more, but then like the change of the season on rumbles the storm clouds of the black dog i watch them rise up on the horizon in contempt.
If i'm starting a new job while depressed the anxiety felt while quoting is almost sickening but luckily I have a laborer so I have to feign confidence enough to get by, one of the problems while you're depressed is the complete lack of self worth and on many occasions have lost work because of it, I often get ripped off at work with underpayment or non payment and because of the low self worth I walk away because its just easier to deal with, totally wrong way to go about it I know but when I'm down simple things become insurmountably hard
I am thankful I have such wonderful friends who motivate me more than they know though if/when I tell them I have depression I don't think it will come as much of a surprise
Well that was harder than I thought it was going to be but I hope it helps people who have never had to deal with this insidious black dog understand a day in the life of dealing with depression
