Waiting

You're tired. You are absolutely tired of the same routine, the same frustrations, the same silence and the same dull meetings.

You are tired of hunger that the world began to make you believe you need a company, any company, to feel that you are validated.

Are you tired of the games, you are tired of how bland and fruitless is this whole world where nothing seems to satisfy anything. You are so tired that you retracts; and then immediately spontaneously withdraws.

"It's all a game? What remains, I got tired of playing. I never liked these rules, never liked that progress, even. If no play is not to win, I did not win. 'm Out, "you think.

Until you know someone.

Someone, anyone.

Suddenly the world turns upside down. Things return to make sense. There is a line. There's a reason. You try, do your best. You try to be better than you are originally. You try to be a plus version of you. At the same time, he never ceased to be yourself.

You try everything. You try even what should not. You hear the verdict.
"I'm not sure."

That makes sense too. Coming from someone who resembles both to their way of seeing life, novels and all that is in the middle, it was almost like a mirror gave you that answer. There was sure. You, who have always been so dependent on derradeiramente certainly knew by heart as was the feeling.

You could not blame anyone. You understand exactly where it comes from. Uncertainty consumes. You do not want something that consumes you.

But that does not stop you from trying; despite knowing what was and would be the answer. Unfortunately, faith makes us do amazing things, and incredibly silly things in proportion. So you stay in the game, even though there is not a game to play. This should have been too clear. It was explicitly stated that there is not. But we just want to hear the truths we are convenient. So you keep playing.

At the end of everything you expect. You eagerly. You want that tomorrow is today, the future is now. You want each cell of the whistle is what you want. You failed in your homework. You did not know how to be patient. You did not know to expect. It would have made any difference if you wait? Maybe not. But this is your punishment, now: you should expect. More, and more, and more than you would expect if you had better expected before.

And you wait.

And you wait.

And you wait. Waiting, hoping some day hopes to convert at all what you expected. And you expect that wait is not in vain.

You expect, first of all, for hope, fearing what might be unwillingly despair.

You expect all this makes some sense. You expect that you need not wait long to start doing.

You wait for sure. For a certainty that you may never be able to bring, or will never be, the more you wait for it.

You expect. You hope with all our strength. You expect to not take it anymore.

How long will you be able to wait?

"Not for long," you think.

Not for long, you expect.

But you expect.

And so you remain waiting.