When you see me talking to your sister, I'm only teaching her algebra.
When I see you talking to my sister, you are trying to woo her.
When I didn't sleep at home, I was in a prayer vigil.
When you didn't sleep at home, I'm sure you were at the club.
When I failed a course, it was because the examiner was a sadist.
When you failed a course, I'm sure it was because you didn't read hard.
When you see me walking on the street with bathroom slippers, I'm only trying to be natural.
When I see you walking on the street with bathroom slippers, I'm sure you're a lunatic.
When you see me buying condoms, I am just trying to test a new kind of balloon for my birthday.
When I see you buying condoms, I'm sure you are a fornicator.
When you see me talking to a prostitute, I'm only trying to preach the gospel to her.
When I see you talking to a prostitute, its a pity! you're are negotiating her price.
When you didn't get a christmas text from me, my phone had a screen problem.
When I didn't get a christmas text from you, it is because I'm not important to you.
When I refused to greet you first, I'm only trying to see whether you're humble.
When you refused to greet me first, you're a very proud person.
When I upvote myself, I am trying to maximize my profits.
When you upvote yourself, you're just being greedy.
The irony of life is that we always want people around us to understand our feelings, our actions. However, we are always very quick to misunderstand and judge others for excuses we would have also given.
