Winter days here where I live look much like this photo below, but tonight it is one of those winters nights when I'm glad to have a roof over my head; It's pouring with rain, windy and very cold outside and whilst it's warm and dry inside we haven't had the best of nights over all.
It started off ok, Indian food for dinner and some movies was the plan, and that's what happened but we noticed that one of our cats was acting a little strange and we have spent most of the night looking after him.
Merlin is an old boy, twenty two years old in fact. He came to us as a stray when he was very young and over the last twenty two years has become such a part of our family that it's difficult to imagine the household without him.
He greets us at the door when we come home, sits on the couch with us, plays and talks to us in his own way. If you are a cat lover you will know what I mean when I say that. But he is fading.
Merlin has trouble seeing and so walks very slowly these days. He often walks right up to something, a wall or the couch, and only stops short of bumping into it because his whiskers feel it first. He stops, turns and moves on only to do the same thing elsewhere. He isn't eating much, certainly not as much as he would normally, and isn't as vocal. He has lost so much weight and eyes once clear are filmy. It's so sad to see such a vibrant little fellow decline as he has and...Well, we have to be realistic, we think this will be he last winter.
We are going to keep an eye on him this week and take him to the vet depending on how he goes, but at his age there will be little, or nothing, they can do for him that will make any real impact upon his longevity.
Tonight for the first time Faith said, we may have to make a decision on what we do with him, which translates to having the little fella euthanised. Just writing it hurts me, however we would never leave him in pain and so would do what we must should it come to that.
Tonight we turned the television off and just sat with him and Cleo, our younger cat, and talked, played with them a little and cuddled with them; It was a happy night, but of course also tinged with sadness. I wonder how long we will have Merlin with us and if we will look back on tonight with fond memories of a little boy who has come to mean so much to us that we can barely think of life without him with us.
We know he's in the winter of his life and there will be no spring for him, and we know we will be devastated when he moves on; But for now we're cuddling and making the most of our time together and that's about all we can do.
I hope y'all having a nice weekend and are surrounded by those who mean the most to you also.
Take care y'all.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
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