"I'm nervous bro." The usually confident Grouchy had a look of consternation on his face. It seemed odd to see him look so unsure.
"Roxy?" I said simply, knowing Grouchy's girlfriend, the one he'd found online after hacking into my computer, was arriving the next day.
"Yeah man. She gets here tomorrow and I'm worried I've forgotten something. I want everything to be perfect."
"You know nothing is ever perfect right cobber? I mean, all we can do is be the best version of ourselves, have manners, courtesy, respect, understanding and patience. If you do then things will work out. I'm sure it'll be fine. Have you ticked off your preparations on your checklist?" I tried to divert his worry back to the list he'd made to highlight the fact he'd checked it all off already and bring him some comfort.
Good idea broo, now where's that list..." Grouchy wandered off momentarily then returned trying to flatten out a scrumpled up piece of paper..."Here it is. So let's see..."
"Build house. Check."
"Silk sheets on bed. Check."
"Mirror on ceiling. Check."
"Champagne on ice. Check."
"Honey Birdette gift box for Roxy. Check."
The list went on...
...And on...
I tuned out after a while but something made me tune back in...
"What was that last one?" I questioned, not quite sure if my ears had heard correctly.
Grouchy looked up at me..."What, iron shirt?" He said.
"No, before that ya fuck-knuckle." I snapped.
Grouchy consulted his list repeating the last ones he'd read under his breath then...
"Oh yeah, this one...Shave balls." He looked at me matter-of-factly. "That one you mean?"
I just looked at him not really knowing what to say and he went on with the list.
"Manscape, down there. Check"
"Polish shoes. Check"
It was an impressively long list with some odd entries, but when he got to the end they were all checked. He was ready.
This morning, with a quick wish me luck G-dog, he hopped on his scooter and sped off to the train station to pick up Roxy; He was nervous and excited at the same time. I didn't blame him.
He would be an hour so I went on with pretending to work at my day-job from home which translates to doing nothing at all in respect of my day-job, and waited for them to return.
I heard the the scooter pull into the driveway and took a peak out the window.
"G-dog, the king and queen have arrived." I heard Grouchy proclaim. I wouldn't have been surprised if there was a trumpet fanfare as well.
Grouchy was helping his girl off the back of the scooter and began to usher her inside ahead of himself, all gentlemanly and polite. Behind her Grouchy walked along with a smile beaming on his green face, one hand protectively on the small of her back. It was the happiest I've seen him in a long time and it made me happy in turn.
I walked out to greet them and he introduced me to Roxy. I have to say, I noticed right away she had a cute smile and large, kind eyes. She was also very polite when she greeted me, if slightly distracted; She just couldn't keep her eyes of Grouchy.
I think they were off to a good start.
It seems Grouchy had prepared a little ceremony to welcome her to the house he had built for them to share; A lovely two story yellow and pink house with red tile roof and a little garden out the front. He'd worked hard on it and it seems she was keen to step inside.
They both had on crowns, another touch Grouchy had added, and as they made their way to the house they really did resemble a king and queen.
It was at that point I decided to leave them alone, let them get acquainted, and settled in. I was sure I'd catch up with Grouchy later but for now I wanted him to enjoy the moment and, from what I was seeing, it looked like there'd be some mutual enjoyment for sure! I went to my home-office to pretended to work once more.
"I'm in love." I turned at the sound and saw Grouchy casually leaning on the doorframe of my office. "She is perfect."
"She seems very lovely Grouchy. I'm pleased you're happy."
"She does this thing with her tongue when we kiss man, it's like...Well, I can't really describe it." Grouchy seemed to be floating on cloud nine.
"Well man, that's good, but gentlemen don't discuss this sort of thing about their ladies you know. It's private between you and Roxy and it's disrespectful to her." I had wondered how this would go, his first romantic encounter. Seemingly it had him floating on air.
"Yeah G-dog, I remember discussing it. It is disrespectful to the girl. I know. But I had to tell someone! It's all wet and warm..." Grouchy let the rest go unsaid as my look suggested he should.
I nodded though. I knew how he felt.
"Well, I hope she's getting settled and you guys are happy." I meant it genuinely too. He deserved happiness, like us all.
"I think it's really great you have hit it off so well; It bodes well for the future. I just want you to be happy cobber." A part of me knew I'd not be able to hang out with his as much which made me feel sad, but I tried to look happy for him.
"Hey," Grouchy said, "you know we're bro's right? We're still going to hang and shit. Bad boys for life y'all. Remember?" Grouchy made an attempt to throw some sort of gang-style hand-sign but it didn't work...Because he has no hands. He had clearly seen how I felt.
I smiled at his attempt to cheer me up and appreciated him saying it.
"Fuck yeah brah." I didn't throw a gang-sign, because that would have been dumb.
Grouchy nodded then turned to leave but after a few steps turned back...
"Hey G-dog."
"Yeah?"
Grouchy had on a sly smirk like he does when he's going to be bad.
"Roxy loved the shaved-balls-action and manscaping!"
He winked at me and was gone.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
