Hey, clearly I had no idea and I'm so sorry for you and your sister. Losing a parent is terrible, I have lost both of mine, (cancer) however the suddenness of a heart attack or car wreck is something else again. I'm not going to say, I know how you feel because I do not, but I've lost people in sudden ways like this and know I felt, which was...well, I guess devastated, confused, angry, alone...many things.

Dealing with a death, the emotional side, doesn't end with the mourning period, and as family members it's a difficult process of dealing with the logistical aspects, the estate of the deceased and their affairs. I did this for both parents and a few others and it's a terrible process; I do not envy you and empathise with your situation. Meltdowns are permitted ok?

I am one who confronts death, my own and others, as I'm quite pragmatic; I know it will happen. I guess, that thought helps me live better every day, like I feel more inclined to get the best of those days, and myself, because I know it'll end eventually. I believe that's the best way to go, for me at least. I often tell people to call their loved ones, tell the people they care for and value that they care for them and value them, one never knows when the chance to do so will be gone...and regret is a poor companion.

I'm so sorry this has come to pass and am sending my thoughts to you and your sister. Our departed loved ones go everywhere we go because we carry them in our hearts and memories, it's of comfort to me, and it will be for you I believe.