Many people don't feel comfortable talking about death. I'm not one of those people. Death is a fact of life and I've been exposed to it a little here and there so for me it doesn't hold the same fear (stigma) that discussing it can for others. don't want to die just yet of course, but it's going to happen eventually; Might be tomorrow or years and years from now. I don't know.
In 2004 I arranged my mum's funeral the day after she passed away. (Cancer). It was a very stressful time and not one I'd like to repeat, but repeat it I must for one day my dad will also pass away. With that in mind, last year I arranged and pre-paid his funeral with the funeral directors who have buried all of my family here. They have been in business since 1855. The process was nowhere near as troubling as the same process in 2004, on my mum's behalf, and we came away satisfied we'd made the right choice.
We also decided to start talking about our own funerals and in the near future getting them pre arranged and paid for as well. We both agreed that going through the process at the time of the loss of the other was not something we wanted to do.
Our funeral guy (yes, we have a funeral guy) Mark, the funeral director, is a pretty funny guy. Oddly all funeral directors seem to have a certain sense of humour. I know two others whom I shoot with, both retired, and both very humorous guys. Anyway, Mark is no different and when I suggested that I would like to be cremated on a pyre built upon a Viking boat which is ignited by a single flaming arrow shot from a bow from a clifftop above...Well, he took the ball and ran with it. He thought it was a great idea. [probably not possible] but what the hell, let's do some research huh?
Fast forward just over a year and the text message you see here arrives on my phone. Yesterday in fact. You can see his text to the left, and the photo that accompanied it below. Keep in mind this is over 12 months after discussing it with him that day I arranged my dad's funeral! Good memory? Nah, I reckon he is keen to do just such a funeral!
He's had it on his mind obviously, probably because he wants to be the first funeral director here to perform a Viking boat-funeral pyre burial. Come on, it sounds legit right? I mean, it'd be remembered for a while to come right? It sounds better than one of those morbid affairs where people sit around listening to stories about the deceased's life! Some may want that sort of thing, but I'd prefer a more interesting affair!
You can see the Viking boat he refers to in that image above. Like he said, not quite the full-sized and totally legit burial I suggested but he's getting the spirit of it I would say! A little more effort and I reckon he'll have it sorted. Go you good thing!
Here's my reply to Mark. I didn't have the heart to send him packing to find a full-sized boat and felt it would be prudent to offer him some encouragement instead. I don't want him to lose heart and stop the search after all right?
OK, so you know I'm only (partly) joking right? I mean I know it's highly unlikely that I'll get my Viking burial and to be honest it's just something of a running joke between the funeral director, my wife and I. It was a moment of lightness at a time when we were sitting there arranging the funeral for someone not yet dead. My dad. At the time I was getting a little emotional and it was good to lighten the moment.
Life is a funny sort of thing and we, mankind, are an odd bunch. We have a whole set of thoughts, patterns, idiosyncrasies, superstitions and habits, all individual to the next person's. For me, I don't see much point in ignoring what is inevitable, death I mean. Sure, I don't want to rush forward to it prematurely, however ignoring it won't make it go away. We will all die. Me, you and everyone you know, or don't know.
I hope I'm not floated off in a viking boat any time soon and that I live a full life, whatever that means. More important to me though is my ethos of designing and creating the life I want; I angle towards that daily because what else is there if one doesn't pursue the best version of their life possible each day? Waking up each morning and saying, "I hope I have a fucked up, shitty-ass day in which nothing good happens," is hardly inspiring right?
We all motivate ourselves differently and some don't motivate themselves at all preferring to simply accept whatever floats their way in life. I'm not a catch the floating-by life sort of guy though, I'm the live-the-fuck-out-of-life guy and am always out to get after my ideal life, the one I design and create, my way. Does fate or destiny play a hand in life? I know not. Is there some higher power pulling the strings? I know not. What I know is that I don't know when my own personal ride will come to an end and so I'm going to design and create it the best I can. I owe it to myself to do so.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default
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