Grouchy goes off-roading

Today was like any other Saturday although I had Grouchy nagging at me because he was bored. I threw him to the cats for a bit just to see if getting thrown around by them like a cat toy would stop his whining but it did not. After saving him he stayed quiet for a but but hen it began again...

"I'm sick of lockdown G-dog", Grouchy whined. "I've got bugger-all to do, there's no good snacks in the pantry, not even fucking Oreo's, and I want to do something fun!"

"There's no need to whine like a little bitch dude." I retorted with a degree of annoyance. "The whole world is bored. At least you can play Lego. You should count yourself lucky!"

"Lucky schmucky," the little dude said in a childish manner, pouting all the while. "You get to go shooting, and do you take me? Noooo...You leave me home to sit around doing fuck all whilst you get to go shoot shit up! I even asked you to bring me Oreo's, but noooo, not even a damned crumb!"

I could see Grouchy was spiralling out of control so I suggested something that might bring him out of his boredom and funky mood.

"Go four-wheelin' bro." I figured this would brighten him up and, sure enough, it certainly did.

"You mean, seriously? I can take the Defender and hit some trails?"

I could already see a twinkle in his eye and knew I'd hit the nail on the head. "Yeah brah, take it but be careful, no stupid shit; I want it back in one piece."

Before I could say, keep the shiny side up he was off! You can see him below on his off-road adventure.

Grouchy loves off-roading, almost as much as I do, and this was the first time I'd thrown him the keys to the Land Rover. He wasn't shy though, getting it off the blacktop in short order, and into the gnarly stuff.

Of course, with all off-road expeditions problems can, and often do, arise.

Grouchy had a little engine trouble and had to do some tinkering.

I think the doomaflicky got spazzed up and cross-volted the thingamyjig which in turn shorted out the bobblyblinger causing the flicketywhatsit to stop. He's got the skills though, learned from myself of course, and was back hitting the trails in no time.

Fortunately the Land Rover Defender is a very capable off-roader and it was able to deal with the demanding terrain Grouchy pointed it at. It's a robust vehicle with high and low range so with a little cog-swapping and careful driving Grouchy was able to get around without too much trouble.

Off-roading is a fickle beast though and whilst one minute you're rock-crawling along in low low (low range first gear) enjoying the challenge and then next you're bogged, unable to go forward or back.

Below you can see one such moment.

Grouchy had it bogged deep and no amount of rocking it forward and back, throttle-feathering or even road-building could extricate him from the hole. There was nothing for it but to get the recovery tracks off the roof, stick them under the tyres for extra traction and hope for the best. You can see him below sizing up the vehicle and how best to get unstuck

There was nothing for it but to climb up top to grab the recovery tracks. Doing this yourself isn't the easiest thing to do as it always helps to have a spotter outside the vehicle as one is trying to drive out of a bog like this. It can be done alone of course, and Grouchy is a resourceful little guy.

Before long he was out of the bog, had the recovery tracks stowed and was on his way home after an enjoyable off-roading session.

"Here's the keys mate," Grouchy said as he tossed them my way.

"Did you have a good time?"

Grouchy grinned and nodded the affirmative. "That Defender is the shit man, it's da shiiiitt!"

"Did you clean the truck?" I asked this knowing the little fucker would have neglected that part. Off-roading is a great deal of fun and only the privileged few have the ability, equipment and locations to do so...But cleaning up afterwards is not something most people enjoy.

"Weren't you going to clean the truck tomorrow anyway G-dog?" Grouchy asked this with hope in his eyes but knowing, deep down, he wasn't going to like the answer.

I levelled a gaze his way, one that usually precludes any further shenanigans. Grouchy held my gaze defiantly for a little bit and then turned away with a roll of his eyes.

"Ok, I'm going," he grumbled.

I could hear him mumbling under his breath as he went, most of which I can't repeat here.

So, just in case you haven't seen the post I did on this truck when I built it you can take a look here at this post that summarises the entire build and finished product. It's a big build, with Lego's most complex gearbox ever. Take a look at the post if you're interested anyway.