Eagles: A photoshoot

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill.

- Helen Keller -

_{The multi-coloured beady-eyed black water eagle, so-called for its vibrant, brightly coloured plumage - It was used by the kings and queens of England to look fiercely at the French.*}

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I've been wanting to take magnificent shots of eagles for a long time; but there's been a problem, no eagles...so I had to improvise.

Below is a couple of eagles soaring on thermals rising off the remote and rugged Rocky Mountains near Colorado, as they scan the ground below for prey and revel in the sheer enjoyment of flight. Talk about action shots! These are rare, orange-nosed eagles...a fearsome bird of prey, super-fast, with a keen sense of vision and ability to down and devour a buffalo in about three seconds. This bird has never been photographed before...so I'll be getting a call from National Geographic for sure.

This winged-warrior of the skies, the stare-bear eagle, which mainly dwells in the highlands of Scotland. They are the world's smartest bird despite looking, dumb and ridiculous as fuck, and they are expert hunters who kill their prey by staring them to death. Don't look one in the eye for too long.

This next majestic eagle is the rare, Ukrainian tactical stealth eagle. This particular eagle likes to swim as you can tell by the droplets of water on its head, but don't let that fool you, this bird has been known to fly incredibly high and is highly manoeuvrable - in fact, the Ukrainian Air Force use it to attack the Russian aircraft in the current war, they strap on some side-winder missiles under each wing President Volodymyr Zelenskyy comes up with the best ideas huh?

Speaking of attack birds, these fuckers will fight over a mere chip! These are, wantafuckenchip eagles, which are quite prevalent across the globe, especially in seaside locations.

Below, you can see two in mid-fight, battling it out over a chip some poor fucker was trying to eat as part of their fish and chip dinner in the park. The one on the left is saying, "give me the chip or I'll fucken kick ya!" The one on the right is like, "fuck you, I'll fucken beak you to death with my red-beak-of-death you asshole!" (I heard this with my own ears so I know it to be true.

The second image below was taken when the wantafuckenchip eagle was contemplating going to Ukraine to unleash his fighting prowess against the Russian military forces; heaven knows the Ukrainian tactical stealth eagles could use the help because they're losing the war miserably.

Here we have another eagle, the common, green winged duck eagle, one is one of the more friendly eagles. They're a rather shy bird, but like to look their best and this one was photographed grooming itself for a big date later in the day. They are reasonably non-threatening but have been known to quack rather loudly so hearing protection may be required.

Here's the last one...the lonesome white feathered dafuq are you looking at eagle. These eagles literally never congregate with any other of their species...don't ask me how they reproduce, it's a mystery. You will literally never see two of these birds in the same photograph...ever. Like, never. Here is one of the very solitary eagles that, like I say, literally never, ever, never fucken ever, will be seen anywhere near another one of its kind. _{^{Fucken ever.}}

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That's it for my eagles photo shoot...all taken using my Olympus camera and 40-150mm Olympus lens, which I've actually never used before. I decided to test it at the local lake near my house but decided to go all out and photograph amazing eagles instead.

I tried to do a few shots of birds in-flight because it seemed cool and super easy but fucken hell they move fast and all of those shots came out super shit. There's one attempt below though, it might have been ok if I didn't cut it's fucken head off. Oh well, maybe next time.

I'm off to wait for National Geographic to call me and employ me as their official eagle photographer, I'm pretty sure I know what the hell I'm doing now...but if you have anything to say, please do so in the comments below.