--If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth eating. -- If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?''

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding, but didn't quite know how to do it. He soon found out that the vet would charge him $200 a pig. That was a little rich for his blood, so he figured he might

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse. He

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to stay for the night. So he sees this barn up the road and asks the guy if he can stay in his barn for the night. "Sure," says the farmer, "as

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo. She sees one behind the counter and tells the salesman, "I want that one!" He replies, "It's not for sale." The woman says, "Please

Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign thatreads: "Cow For Sale -- $5,000." He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth$5,000."

A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer's field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The

On a rainy night, three guys were driving through the countryside. Their car broke down, so they went to a nearby farm. The farmer said, "I only have one spare room but two of you can sleep in other

One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake. Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!'' But Bubba said, ''

One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench. The fisherman couldn''t eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town. The Mayor wasn''t sure what to do with them. Then he had an idea;

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated,

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos intent on killing him. In their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask

One day, Farmer Brown went behind his barn and found to his dismay that his son, Jeb, was jerking off. He vowed to his son that he was going to help him find a wife, so he would not have to be doing this.