"Girl, do you know you are living a great life everyday? Far better than my time. Do you know girls in our time woke up in the early of morning to help with housechores and take care of the young ones? We do not have the chance to go to school, we do not know how is a school look like. We only work, work for family in my entire life. We do not know what is freedom and enjoyment.", an elder aunty told a young girl with frown eyebrows who seems worried. She stared at the old lady with a confused look doubting what does the old lady meant.
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She is a young girl who is smart, healthy and cheerful. She has her decent education, working opportunity, a healthy and friendly family. However, no one is perfect, she has a weakness too. She worries too much, she does not do it intentionally but she just could not help herself. From education, financial, career, future family, future child's education and a lot more, she does not miss anything she can worry. Sometimes, she is tired of her worries. She wishes she will live happily like a kampung girl who only knows how to enjoy the nature and the simplicity of life.
Sometimes, we worry not because we are lacking instead we have more than enough. Most of the rich people worry of being robbed and become a poor man, whereas a man who only has enough with simple and crude house has nothing to worry.
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Sometimes, she envies people who laugh a lot at little things which do not even look funny to her. She envies kids who enjoy their playground times to chase after each other. When the children sing and dance happily with enthusiasm, she cannot sing like them, she tried to act it out but she suffered from acting. Everything does not seem fun and wonderful in her eyes. She wonders who stole her happiness. Did she ever feel happy? She hardly remembers the feeling of joy she had the most recent time.
"Do you stop apply for a job if you know you might get rejected?"
"Will you still go after the girl even you know you might get rejected?"
" Have you ever worried too much to drive people nuts (eg: go for vacation)?"
"Will you stop driving because you afraid you will die in an accident or hit someone on road?"
I used to be a worried person, my mind has never stopped thinking all things in the universe, it worn me out at the end. I could not sleep well because of excessive worries on the uncertainties in my life. I could not start the first step because I afraid I could not stand up after I fail. Not only this, I worry on how others look at me all the time. I am very sensitive to the sharp eyes staring or looking at me, those glance makes me uneasy. I have the insecurities and fear that people will harm me. I worry if someone robs me along the road side while I was walking. We all know worry steals the peace and joy in our heart. The thoughts just get wilder and wilder, and makes me terrified.
After a long time of struggles, I decided to practice my gratitude to get rid of my worries, it sets my mind right to express my appreciation to little things and wonderful people that I am having. It changes my lens of seeing things, intead of having fear of being hurt by others, I practice to see the good side of people. Focus on the good things is more constructive to my mental health. Therefore, I am no longer a slave on worries, a lockup I put myself in.
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