Metamorphosis.

(what you are about to read is a work of fiction. With no ties to reality. I do hope you all enjoy, trying something new here.)

Burn it all to the ground

You know, at some point in everyone's life…. There comes a point where they lose their innocence, their child like demeanor. When the entire world that they had once known gets flipped on its head and every thing goes from vibrant and full of life. To dark and gloomy. When everything you thought you knew, becomes painfully clear that it was just some kind of fabrication that you tell your self to be ok with the world in all it's filthy glory.

It was the summer of '04 and it was a year that I'll never forget. This was the first time I thought I knew what love was, when I learned that my defination of loyalty and other people's definitions of the world are totally different. I wasn't a bad kid, but someone looking at me from the outside in. Would see some kind of skater punk kid, busting up side walks instead of people and for awhile this was satisfying.

I was, talented to put it moderately. I wouldn't say is the best. But I was brave and fearless in the heat of the moment, and I was a complete lunatic. There was no stunt that was to much, go big or go home. Clearing ten to fifteen stairs. Of course life happens, and kids will be kids. Before long that daredevil lifestyle was introduced to something new and fun. Exciting, adrenaline fueled.

Asking me now, as i sit here and say all this to you. I have no idea why I took that first hit, I had watched this kind of shit swallow better men than me alive whole. Granted the justification was that it was just weed. But I had absolutely no idea where that first drag would lead me. But sitting here, staring you in the eyes. I can tell you one thin for certain. It's a long hard road out of hell.

That year the first year I decided I was going to start getting high changed my entire outlook on life. My philosophies, my virtue, everything changed as I began to become an addict. It was nice to have something that would alter my reality. They could help me mask and hide what I knew inside of me. Even at 14 years old accomplishing my dreams of becoming a professional skateboarder I knew that I was a loser and that I would not amount to much.

The marijuana helped me feel comfortable in my skin. But I believe there was a lot more to it than that, I think the initially it was the danger. The thrill of hiding it from people and being all torn apart in front of people without them knowing that really got me going. The idea that I could sit there and look you dead in the face and hide how trashed and scattered i was, was definitely a driving factor for me for a long time.

And then about 2 to 4 months into it somebody had something new that they wanted to share with me. At this point I had only smoked weed I've I didn't drink a few beers here and there but they pulled it out and I looked at it it smelled funny it was almost fruity. But it was like a rock and it was purple and I had no idea what I was touching or what this substance could do to somebody. It was opium and I smoked it with the guys that I always hung out with. But you know I began to skip school and become a nuisance, a rebel.

To say that I was becoming an agent of chaos is almost an understatement. But I was smart about what I was doing and how I was doing it because I'd seen so many people go down this path and I'd seen how much pain and suffering it truly could bring. But the thing about attics is we don't believe that that can become us. That we are stronger than the chemical then the substance then the addiction. So the trouble only increased as I started stealing to make sure that I had money to buy more drugs. I was breaking my mother's heart. My little brother was only maybe 13 when I first introduced him to marijuana. Sad to say but I feel as though I'm the reason that his life is so screwed up.

But sit here and blame myself for it today makes no sense because we are both grown adults now and he can clearly make his own decisions. Anyway I'm getting away from the story, so after about 9 months my mother met somebody who she decided would be better for us. And maybe a few months later we packed up and hit the road leaving everybody and everyone we knew and loved behind to start a new life a fresh life in a different state in a different world. At least that's what I felt like to the 15-year-old me.

Readjusting to life in the state that I moved to was a very daunting and trying task. By this point I had messed up my life so bad that the schools in the new place wouldn't even allow me to go to a regular school I had to go to a school for troubled teenagers. I had a lot of trouble making friends in the new place matter of fact I don't believe I made a friend for over a year. And I was sneaking my mother's pills at that point getting high off of anything I could.

I was stealing alcohol from my stepfather and it didn't take long before my brother found somebody for us to get weed from and the drug use just increased times 20 for me. I was 16 before long and when I turned 16 about a month later I couldn't get high I was lonely as hell I couldn't make friends so I didn't really try anything other than to get high I found a bottle of my mother's migraine medications and I took about 15 of them I don't remember much after that point.

A few days or a week maybe even 2 weeks past and I woke up when I woke up I was in a hospital and I had tubes going down my throat tubes in my arms tubes in my nether region. The doctor said that I had a 10% chance of having a fully functioning brain again and that what I did would change the way that I acted. The way that I talked the way that I walked everything.

I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for the next 3 months and this would be my first incarceration. In there I met a bunch of people that were a lot more screwed up than me I wish I would have learned from this experience when it happened. But my own self hatred and desire to just destroy everything was so overwhelming.

My mother and her soon to be husband what is it. They would bring me books, lots of books. I read so many books while I was there. But the book that made the biggest difference was the GED book and it was basically a book that covered all of the criteria that one needed to know to be able to get their GED. Before long I had given all the other books away and I just studied from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed and I did this for months probably 2 months, the doctors asked me what I wanted to do with my life from this point forward.

I told them I wanted to graduate from high school and move on with my life. So, they literally gave me an ultimatum. Either I graduate and get my GED or I could spend the next 6 months in this psychiatric ward for lying to them about what I wanted to do. I don't know if this was a rouge to get me to do what they wanted or if they were being serious. But I took this opportunity and I never looked back I went took the GED and I passed it with some of the highest grades in that year.

I did so well that I got the award for personal achievement once I got away from all of that I started doing cocaine with this girl I knew. Wife was fast and crazy for a few years there a lot of drug use a lot of pain a lot of suffering a lot of things I can't remember. But I don't know if I would trade it or not because what happened to me is what made me the person I am today it's what gave me the strength to say I am glad to be here and that I can continue to grow and become a better person.

Before long I was selling and supplying a lot of the world in that area with what a lot of people like to call why some people call it blow. Until I got robbed and when I got robbed my whole reality changed and people were showing up to my parents house looking for me with guns. I was living way too fast in a world that I thought I could control but absolutely could not control for the life of me.

We're all along I just wanted to be loved, but I couldn't love myself so how could I love another human being? That's a question that I still ask myself often and I'm still looking for the answers, but I think I'll save the next part of my story for another night I hope you guys have enjoyed hearing me till the tale of my teenage years. -Reaching across the table, the reporter clicked stop on thevl voice recording machine. Tilting his head to the side, he spoke.- So you started becoming who you are today because...? You were bored? Because you thought the world hated you? Or you hated the world and everything in it.? I'm sorry Mr. Bentley, we are just trying to understand how you became the person I'm interviewing today.

Bentley didn't smile, or look away or anything. He just kind of controlled his breathing. "Becoming who I am today, was not an easy task. It took more discipline and control than I could have ever imagined I had. And quite possibly luck. A whole lot of luck.

-contemplating all of this. He was sitting here staring at person who had basically reinvented the way that humans travel in this day and age. Bentley had rediscovered science that was forgotten with the death of Nikolai Tesla and in doing so he created a power source that was already here so maybe he didn't really create it. More like reinvented it. Distribute type energy it's almost as if energy source is based around the planet's magnetism in the gravitational force but that is a story for another time.

"You know, they say that the drugs are harmful and they they make it hard to think and they root kill brain cells as a matter of fact it's been scientifically proven. But do you believe that?" The reporter asked him "yes I do believe that but, I also believe in these..." Reaching his jacket he took out a little bottle of pills and set them on the table. "We call it compound 59 and this my friend.. this compound will change lives it will revolutionize the way that we as humans in a whole think. The way that we act. The way we heal."

Bentley is almost a world renowned scientist inventor and a scholar getting away from the drugs was probably the best thing he could have ever done or achieved. -the reporter leaned back on his chair. "So it's in that? those pills..." Laughing as he says it, Bentleys smirk resembled something menacing. Devilish even, "why my friend it's Noah's ark it's the ark of the covenant it's a blood of Jesus. Whatever it is, would you really care what's in it? As long as it worked?"