I can so associate with your feelings in this post! After my last stint in hospital, all that I could do immediately afterwards was just watch MTV. That is all I had the energy or the will for. Eventually, that phase waned, and I got up a little more energy, enough to be spending whole days playing Minecraft by myself on the Xbox. I went through a phase of months at that stage. At the next stage, I started getting more interactive with others online again, and I played a Minecraft-themed Discord bot called Discraft, for a while. This led to me developing a wiki for that bot game, which took me beyond Discord for the first time in ages. In the next phase, I started playing OwO and worked on the wiki for that one, too. Eventually though, I got to the stage where I again needed the intellectual stimulation of adult conversation, and I began blogging again, which brought me back to the social blockchain, where I had been active before I went to hospital. It took me a while, but I got here in the end.

From my experience, I hope that you can draw the conclusion for yourself that, wherever your head is at right now, it is just a phase that you are going through. Push through it, and you will eventually break forth into a new phase, one in which you can feel some form of progress happening. And like me, don't let the terms of that "progress" be determined by others. You need to see that progress for yourself, with your own hindsight. Others may not understand your struggles, nor see your achievements as anything much. But you do, and that is the most important thing!