When I was a kid at school the one thing that bothered me was the threat of the bully.
I was usually the smallest fellow in class. I was fortunate never to suffer from the torment of bullies. I used to go to Cambridge High School where I did suffer one incident. I was in standard eight (grade ten in more modern parlance). I was teasing the one prefect (I did have a smart mouth), when he told me that he was taking me to the headmaster to report me. I got a bit of a shock and headed off to the office with Russell in accompaniment. He turned the wrong way and when I turned to see where he was, I got punched in the mouth. I was stunned and did nothing. I had learned my lesson to be more respectful (or rather careful) towards him. Funnily enough, he became a teacher at my future wife's school and I was told that he was an unpopular teacher and still a bit of a bully. Quite a co-incidence now that I look back in later years.
In the same standard, I developed a friendship with the Beattie brothers, Steve and Callum. Their family home was about a kilometer away from our home. Most days we would go to each others homes to visit and do the normal kind of things that teenagers do, like listen to music, play games and eat. Between our homes was a bully, he was big for his age and loved intimidating all the kids in the neighbourhood. I remember once or twice racing away from him on my bicycle with him in hot pursuit. Sometimes he would catch me and push me around while making derisive comments. I just stood there until he lost interest and left. However one time he tried the same tactics with Calum Beattie. Calum never stood for any nonsense and gave the bully a punch that sent the bully packing. We never had problems again in the neighbourhood. I wonder why that fellow could never just be part of the neighbourhood gang of friends.
I suppose I am quite fortunate. I know that some people suffer greatly from bullying. I grew up as the oldest boy in the family and I know that on a few occasions I was a bully to my younger brothers. I regret that, but that childish behaviour passed before I became a teenager. I felt it important to respect them, even though we were all still quite naughty youngsters. We are all close to each other even now many years later. I am pleased that is so. My younger brothers fortunately forgave me as they are all stronger than me. They could really have "sorted" me out if I had a bad relationship with them.
I never really knew that girls could be cruel to each other, I always thought that they were more "adult" than us boys. I am wrong though when I look at the news media. Now social media is used to spread unkind and even cruel comments about others.
Even when we "grow up" into adulthood, it is possible to continue being a bully. Adults generally have more maturity but bad character traits can continue. We see it in powerful people who use their power and influence to dominate others through selfish self indulgence and even cruelty. I have seen in marriages where men have bullied their wives and children because they are stronger physically. I have also seen times where even some women bully their husbands and their children.
We live in such a stressful world; it is as if we not only take off our work clothes when we get home but we can take off our civility and courtesy to others. To think you can "let it all out" and not measure your words and their impact when speaking to other family members can make one a bully too. I think that words can be more hurtful than a fist. Cruel words can take away the dignity of others, especially of those who love us. My girls put a great deal of pressure on themselves to achieve well academically. My wife says it is all done to impress me. It is troubling that they put themselves in such a vulnerable position where a thoughtless "clever" comment from me can injure them. Sometimes I was dumbfounded to see their "over-reaction" to a "witty" comment. My dear wife will rebuke me and I will have to go and apologise to one of my girls. I am very grateful to my wife for helping me to overcome my weaknesses, where I think I am being funny but I am only being unkind.
I have seen men in the work environment who are meek lambs when their superiors are around, yet they become cruel bullies towards their subordinates when no-one is there to control them. My Dad used to call it the "German military" mentality. "They will either kiss your arse or kick it, depending on whether you are their superior or their junior!" A bit crude but it defines what a bully is.
The SS in the German Third Reich were such an example. In the excellent movie "Schindler's List" by Steven Spielberg, some actors portrayed Nazi's extremely well. They were comfortable with torturing and killing helpless Jews, yet when the Russian soldiers appeared, they meekly surrendered or were caught running away. These "heroes" did not fight to the death when confronted by soldiers with weapons but ran away like cowards.
(the mighty soldiers)
(Herman Goering committed suicide at the Nuremburg Trials after WW2)
Yesterday I read a traumatic article written by a Nigerian called "Kaduna crisis - Nigeria". In the article it is described how Muslim gangs and Christian gangs attack the weak defenseless individuals, hacking them to death. These gangs never seem to attack each other, only the defenseless.
This is also seen in nations in our modern world. How the Syria is the war playground for the big nations of America and Russia. Both nations kill each others enemies but do not attack each other. It is fine for these high tech armies to kill virtually defenseless terrorists on either side. We all get bombarded with the propaganda wars where each nation states how they are "defending" their own side.
(now the war is "over" who is going to rebuild?)
When I watch these various television soapies where the audience is supposed to be sorry for the poor professional American Soldiers who are depicted for suffering from Post Traumatic Stress after "defending" themselves and their democratic values while fighting in far-away lands with massive weapon and air superiority, it makes me feel nauseated. The propaganda wars that are being fought on the stage of world media by the powerful nations is clear to see. These are the global bullies, they try to cloak themselves as the "protectors". To me this seems no different to the Mafia and their protection racket, where the poor little shop owner must pay the bullies to "protect" themselves from the bullies. Except these powerful nations aren't skimming a few dollars but the resources of the "protected" countries are being taken by these powerful nations.
Yes, bullies are everywhere.
