Oh you've become quite the anti-social animal drooling at whatever eye candy that pops up onto the screen. "Go figure!"
Then suddenly your boss yells! "Barker! go to the store and get me some coffee, two sugars and hold the milk." Yeah your name is Barker, of all names that is yours.
You say to yourself with a childish sinister looking grin on your face "Go get it yourself stupid." Surely not loud enough inside your minds thick walls for your boss to hear.
Meanwhile you get your lazy tired butt up off the cubical chair and strut your stuff to the store. Upon arriving at the store you trip on a piece of gum. Then drop the coffee onto the floor. Luckily you didn't get harmed any. "Thank god that was a close call." You say to yourself but this time out loud, while people ask "Are you okay." As they stroll on by, some giggling at your epic fail.
Oh well... Now you gotta go get another cup and your hands got melted in the process. How worse can things get on this trip to the store. You see a handsome /beautiful looking specimen that distracts you as you walk towards the register with half scorched hands and a seduced look on your face that could light up a Christmas tree. He/She looks back and smiles at the air. You think it was you and forget the second cup of coffee on the counter then walk out the store in hot pursuit.
This feeling of intense desire never dawned on you like this before. You never built up the courage to stalk anyone before. Could it be love at first sight. Next thing you know she strolls her perfectly aligned amazing booty up to a black limo and her boyfriend or husband issues her one of the fattest kisses ever. (Opps it was a He/She as you could be a guy or gal reading and so simply try to use your imagination)
Okay so that plan of misdirection got diverted now what?
"Oh shoot" You think to yourself "The coffee", so you somehow snap out of it and remember that you was suppose to be getting your boss some coffee. It must be in the store still at the counter. You didn't pay for it yet. So you rush back into the store after a 180 degree pivot about face move. Of course that cup is still steeming. Oops I meant 'Steaming'.
You get diverted once more before getting to the counter when you sense a magazine on the news stand. It's one of them technology magazines and so this time your mind shifts rather than huge body yet another 180 degrees.
You glare at a article that at first look pulled you in, and thanks to a flashy looking visual of a shiny new robot. Not any ole robot this one is a Android that incorporates human linguistics and is artificially intelligent like I-Robot (From the Will Smith Sci-Fi), and it is said to be super smart thank to years of Internet human archival backup uploads, genius content curator work etc... As it now knows everything known to man up to the point that cool tech mag was printed.
Meanwhile your boss been waiting now for 30 long minutes and you still haven't purchased his coffee. It must be cold by now you think, and place in your mind a plan to get yet another cup. Suddenly you sense another article. This article somehow has a item in it that looks shockingly familiar, as you are a engineers apprentice just out of college and this one draws you in even deeper than the first article.
Your mind shifts gears, you feel like yelling, but only do it mentally as you see your latest and greatest invention on display there. Well you thought you were the only one thinking about inventing it. That coffee is no longer something on your mind and instead of returning to the coffee machine you instantly rush to the register, slap the mag on it and toss the clerk some cash to make the purchase.
Off you go back to work and without that coffee. Your boss is waiting with something in his hand. You get to him and say "ummm... Sorry boss they outta coffee." Knowing you are lying through your teeth. He looks at you and hands you the paper. It's a document notifying you that you've been fired. You think to yourself, "well at least I don't have to get anymore coffee for that Bozo."
You turn to the magazine and wonder about what if you were the one who submitted that idea to the design team. Hmmm... "I wonder."
Coffee anyone?
Try to guess what the invention was in the comments below.
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