On life and stuff

Last week in particular I went through a ton of shit I was physically falling apart for. Bad sleeping, hunger and weight loss, stress all around: sudden weepings and overreactions to the smallest things. I was a real pain in the ass for my boyfriend who had to bear with me those moments of stress.

But what's this stress all about? My family and I suffered from a big loss last week, and the condition, context, and historical moment were not the best to deal with such an event. Plus, in the past two months, we have been in mourning for many other losses, relatives and friends' relatives. This last one was just the straw that broke the camel's back. 2020 is driving many of us to an unpredictable and never-ending state of suffering and yet making us also as resilient as no one would think we'd be capable of.

Life gets hard, yes. And when it does, there's no much to do but keep holding on, breathing, waiting for the storm to pass. I was definitely disappointed in some people who I thought to be friends, and who, instead, had no respect for my family or my own mourning, and even showed me such a lack of humanity by disregarding all possible feelings of sadness or frustration. I know the pandemic has been and still is changing all of us, but I definitely thought, up until last week, that was for the best. However, I'm currently geting across so much arrogance, disrespect, and ignorance that I'm slowly losing hope. And if I, 25-year-old woman, am losing hope, I really don't know what's next.

I could list every single piece of crap I went through (and still I am) in the last days, just to make this post a little sarcastic or ironic, but the thing is there's nothing to laugh about when we're just surrounded by evil, and pain, and spiritual poverty.

I'm writing this kind of sincere and open-heart post to try to make up for my absence, for which I'm terribly sorry. Or at least, to try to explain and openly tell you what my perception of life is, which is not just flourish and good looking like my photos pretend to show. Our life is much more than that.
I'll try my best in the next days to post some new stuff, photos, and stories, presumably happier than this, because it was not only shit I came across. Indeed, as it always happen in my life, among all the crap, music and sport literally saved me. I was lucky enough to go to one of the very few live concerts happening during the pandemic, and that made my day, at least once! It was Leonardo's live gig, the guy from Lateral Blast I already wrote about, but I took many pics and clips of his concert so I'll definitely write a post on that night.
And about sport: with a new friend of mine, a fitness trainer working at my gym/swimming pool, I began to make a lot of #BringSallyUp or long-duration plank positions challenges, just for fun, to make our spirit more solid. Well, those challenges saved me during those hard days: they made me suffer from muscle soar and saved me from a way more profound interior suffering; as Latins used to say "Ubi Maior Minor Cessat", which is to say that a major and bigger pain overcomes the smaller ones. And when your body and mind are busy dealing with a physical "pain" and you're suffering from that, all the rest just fades out, for the time you're doing the physical activity at least.