Your mom is spiritually with you. Even if not physically, still you can sense what it is to have a guardian angel mom as her. Btw having a child and raising him or her is a big responsibility, since we usually don't want they pass through the same emotional pain and traumas that we felt in our lives. To me yet it is not so easy yet to feel ready to have children. I think one can become ready to give birth the time when you purified any negative emotions, hurtful moments that you have had in your life, so that your child can start the page from a clean point.