Me. I went morel hunting. All my "signs" were positive, we had the big fire last year, the weather was perfect, the right flowers were in bloom, the ground was still very moist... I looked high, I looked low, I looked all around... OK I did NOT look high for them, I never found one flying or even perched in a tree. Nary a 'shroom, any where. But I found THIS:
Fairy Slipper Orchid - Is it laughing at me?!
That sure looks like a smirk to me. How dare it be so disrespectful of an elder like me?! You know what is worse? I think it is hard evidence that those bitch fairies ATE MY MORELS. There can be no other explanation for my inability to find a single one.
It was a LOVELY day in the woods, but four of us came home with ONE morel. I think she might be smirking too... but she earned it!
Our Great Mushroom Warrior Displays Her Trophy