I, indeed inspire with your content. But I didn't expect that at the part of your content, these group of words really hits me a lot, which I'm at this kind of situation right now.

it feels like a heat stroke in the chest, I literally feel a heat wave coming out of my heart, like fire that spreads quickly through my body, and it only lasts a couple of seconds.

Reading this part, I always experience it, not sometimes but almost everyday. Every time I suddenly cry or lonely without any reason, I suddenly felt pain in my chest, like it burns inside or squeezing a soft thing. The worst thing about is whenever I touch my chest to fell its pain, I didn't either feel its heart beat, a slow heart beat rather, or feel its pulse.

I feel that there are no reasons to do it, because that “inspiration” is not present, and it is something that saddens me, because they are activities that I usually enjoy to the fullest, but now I understand why, how can I express on paper or with words what I feel, if I am not recognizing my emotions?

Nowadays, anxiety and depression really hurts a lot. I wonder if everyone can experience this matter, but me, even though I feel happy or not, it always occurs on me everyday. Writing my ideal poems or poetry was my pain reliever before, but now, even a single a stanza of poem or poetry I can't write it because of this feeling.