living and dying for a glimpse
I rue the day I saw you first
Is this ache a giving love or taking lust?
whatever, I don't care I simply just
wish I was never there, then when I lost
my might. Oh! grave plight to hold you in sight
I suffer each day and ten folds at nights as I fight
the urge to type in your name and in spite
of the trepidation, fear, guilt and fright, I miss it.
how I rue the day I saw you first.
Oh! I know this familiar curse
befell me once I lost all my pulse.
beat in me the rhythm strange
thought of it bitterly convulse
I run away as I've seen a ghost.
to this fatal plague my heart is host.
I listen to heart never now almost
as, I taste a flavor of hell, innermost.
I'm waiting on this spell to pass
I'm tempted to rewire routes for the chemicals.
probing in. disrobing thin skin to reveal ill.
The warmth and glow outshine alas!
my precisely pointed magnifying glass.
If I could I'd burn the home and yard.
I'd leave these parasitic feelings charred
your smile that resonates in, makes it hard
leaves me wounded and plenty scarred.
How I rue the day I saw you first.
Oh! When? Oh! When? will I be released?
Your beauty has plenty pleased
but, I dare fight or else I'll be erased
as well. I wish none this disease.
How I wish to see you still
to restless eyes you are sleeping pills
I draw from whence you look dreams millions
and to know they wither surely kills,
what's left of joy.
But this is our fate, mine more
I can't help my desires roar.
I punish cruelly the devil core
that wish for to claim your gander pure.
I ache terribly; and I can't help this.
To dream you in my arms, momentary bliss.
followed by the growls of fate's deadly kiss.
Help me leave behind, I beg of you please.
This is my day 74 entry of the 100 days of poetry by 
If you like what I'm doing here, help me out to get me some visibility and add me to your steemvoter or bring me a
@curie vote like at rasamuel@discord did which 
@f3nix thought I deserved and supported me through frustration. It's been more than four month of this.goddamnit.