That was what God said
One would think it was an overstatement
Until when witnessed
I had not been alone for long
But it seemed years
I have a way out I thought
My ways are not your ways
Neither my thought similar to yours he said
I thought of working –“morning till night”
Then retire to sleep
Obviously I won’t feel lonely again
But he said I should be patient
That I shouldn’t labour to be rich (?)
Maybe because my idea (thought)
Was more influenced by my dwindling finances
And then there was slow motion
With the proposed working site(s)
I resisted confusion and anxiety
Getting myself blind to future expenses
I couldn’t help myself anyway
What is the point struggling?
He told me to be patient
That I’m going to be till his appropriate time
But in the waiting fame,
I’ve thought of too many things
One of which is FUNMI
I realised how much I do love her
Seeing how much she means to me
In short, she is an answered prayer
I’m very lucky to have such
A wonderful gift from God-----thank you!
But am I the way she is to me to her?
I want to make her happy-in life
Really that is what I want to do
To fill that gap in her past and future
But I misbehave every now and then
Upsetting the peace in her
And it pains me that I behave in such manner
More painful is the fact that
She doesn’t know I don’t EVER
Want to hurt her
She’s added bright colours to my life
At this moment, I so much MISS her
She is the best woman for me
I’m happy we’ll soon be married
And then a lot of things would happen
But then, I worry a lot
Annoyingly over irrelevant things
I don’t lose sleep over important issues
Those trivial things keep me irritable
Over and over, God corrects me
Never to be anxious over such
I’m afraid if I do, I would be without conscience
And he says
Don’t be afraid, believe in God
Believe also in me
Now and then, I think of how to stop worrying
But funny enough that is another worry
So what do I do?
I would try to forget and forget
Recently, I started having some exposition
About God in his entirety
So much yet to be known
All the above as a result of being alone
Sometimes I’m blank
Sometimes questionably tired
Most of the times undecided
Occasionally amused
But perpetually thankful to God
For all things work for good to them that love him
And called according to his purpose
Life goes on -One has to be expectant
