I spent a large amount of my like procrastinating.

I don't think it is idleness, as such.

It takes a lot of energy to avoid doing the thing you are avoiding. And yeah, it's unpleasant too. Like you, I avoid starting something for a fear of it not being any good (or I'd give up if it wasn't good straight away). What I've learned is that the perfect thing is rarely done in one take, the perfection comes in the editing process (or practice).