Forgiveness is a word that is commonly used by many but it has lost its power. It's easy for us to say it but difficult to actually do it.
Forgiveness has to be a legitimate and voluntary process. It's something we do for ourselves and not for the people that offended us.
The first person you should forgive is 'yourself'. This is one of the hardest things to do. You may sometimes feel trapped after forgiving others because you haven't forgiven yourself.
Selfish forgiveness is the first step to selfless forgiveness.
-- -Michael Todd
Don't forgive everybody else and forget yourself. Imagine being handcuffed, you have a limit to what you can do with your hands. See forgiveness as the key to help you break free. That key is in your hands because the power to forgive is in you.
Forgive yourself when you make bad choices that resulted to a negative event or loss of opportunity.
Many of us get external healings but still have internal failure we never forgive ourselves for. Forgive yourself first because you are worth being forgiven.
Forgiveness requires and produces humility. You can't forgive others with pride. When you are humble, you let others go without an apology, not bothering about what others think and not seeking revenge.
Love your neighbor as yourself. Remember that the love we talk about forgives, it keeps no record of wrong.
What does it mean to forgive yourself?
F- Face You
You can only be fixed when you face yourself. Be honest with yourself and identify the areas you need forgiveness.
O- Own You
Take full responsibility for your actions, don't put the blame on others.
R- Remind You
Keep reminding yourself that you are not your mistake. A mistake is an event and not a person. Your failure is just a chapter, turn the pages. It's okay to feel guilty for what you but don't feel ashamed of who you are.
G- Grieve You
It's okay to grieve the person you wanted to be but couldn't because of your mistakes. Acknowledge it, feel it but don't stay there. You have to move on. It's part of the process of forgiving yourself.
I- Insulate you
Nobody will bombard their way into your life. You have to invite people in. This will prevent you from falling apart and damaging yourself more. We all need each other, it's part of the process.
Don't shut people out. In your moment of weakness, you need people to be your strength. Give people permission and access to insulate you. This process has been very helpful. I have people who have supported me even in my mistakes and weaknesses. I realized that I don't have to walk alone. Life with the right people is a life with ease.
V- Value You
Value yourself and do the best you can to get the healing you deserve. Put yourself first. You might need a counselor or therapist to help you unpack your bandage. You are worth the healing.
E- Embrace You
Take out time to embrace yourself. Know you are a work in progress and not perfect. There are addictions and things you might not be able to change instantly, embrace yourself.
I dare you today to forgive yourself. Set yourself free, no one can do it for you. The key is in your hand. Use it to set yourself free.
Thank you for reading.
