18 years ago, I met the man of my dreams. He and I have been through more ups and downs than most couples endure in a lifetime. Yet, he stays right by my side during my darkest times.
I am here making dinner, blasting music, and having a few thoughts flow in. A few months ago, we were all falling to pieces, Wes pulled me close and said "this song reminds me of you". I listened with an angry heart, and a closed mind. I was so lost and confused and angry with the world. How can one nearly lose 2 of their best friends in a weeks span and not spiral out of control? I wasn't mad at him, just trying to "protect" myself if he were to pass away.
The song was by Break the Crazy "I Found you" source
As I listened to the song today, it dawned on me that some of the lyrics within the song "Time means much more when I spend it with you, the smile on your face is my new favorite view." my heart swelled. When I had asked Wes what his favorite part of the trip was, he quickly answered "seeing you genuinely happy and seeing your smile".
It made me realize that our whole 18 years, I have lived so far outside of JOY, that I had forgotten what it felt like. I felt joy on my wedding day, the birth of our son, and the birth of our daughter. But with all of these wonderful events, came much sadness and worry. I have lived in a state of fear my entire life.
Listening to the lyrics this evening meant something so much more to me, now remembering how JOY resonates within my body and understanding the full amount of love my husband has for me. I truly am so grateful for this man of mine, he will do all he can to help me feel happy, and doesn't ask any questions when I am sad, he just holds me. I am so safe with my man, and I am so very glad I have him in my life.
I express my love to him as much as I can, but I don't show it as much as I should. He is the love of my life, and the man of my dreams. I am one lucky lady to have him as my best friend. And I am very blessed to have him in my life still.
I know many of you know who he is, and understand the deep incredible soul he has! It warmed my heart every time I had said "I am Deranged Vision's wife" at 
He helped me find my joy again during our incredible trip to Thailand
Check out the song "I found you" by Break the Crazy
Thank you for taking time to read this tribute to the best man of my life and the greatest person to enter my life! Have a wonderful week!
ALSO, my daughter and I finally got a new episode out on our podcast "Momma Bear Connects" you can listen anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts!!
