For a good part of my twenties I couldn't have an orgasm, whatever I tried, let alone how much aroused I was. I've been with different kind of men, sure that they were the problem but at the end of my experiences I started thinking I was the problem. For a short period of time I couldn't even have an orgasm on my own, when before I could. And that's when I started worrying that something was wrong with me.
I went to a psychologist and a sex terapist, but it wasn't what really made it for me. They too gave me something to work on and surely directed me in the right way. So yes, going to a specialist might be good too.
The realization came from a woman that had my same problem and taught me something I now use in every aspect of my life aswell. We had a relationship that went on for some months and we were really just like friends, not lovers, but we shared our bodies too and she was so sweet and caring while doing it, there was no real desire in her, she didn't want my body, she really just wanted to make me feel good. And that's probably what helped me the most.
Indeed, life shouldn't be lived worrying about something in particular, because it's just about experimenting. Everything we do, we should do because we like doing it, not because we must do it.
Sex shouldn't have a purpose and for most males this is what it is about: having an orgasm. It's not about the pleasure of being with your mate, not about the pleasure of the moment, not about enjoying time with who you love. Just an orgasm.
Sex is not about having an orgasm, sex is about letting everything go and just feel the warmth of your partner, is enjoying a moment that creates itself from a moment of intimacy and sharing energy.
The most important thing is knowing yourself and start doing it without worrying about having an orgasm, but just enjoying the process, your body and your feelings: touch your nipples as you would touch your belly, because you like the sensation, like it was just a caress. The same applies when you touch your intimate parts, you don't have to think about anything else that the feelings you receive from it.
This for now is everything that I can share with you and I probably will continue this little series talking about myself, it will just take a bit of time for me to open up completely.
If you have any question, don't hesitate to ask. :)
