Do not despair and give up! Everyone in life has difficult times. I myself went through it.
I can only say that not everything in life can be planned and executed at the desired time. The more you plan, you are nervous about it, you put strength into your plans, the more desperate it is that this does not happen.
My advice: relax, follow what is coming into your life. Set goals, go to them, but do not plan your life, otherwise you will fall into the trap.