I think the main cause of the problem in most relationships - this is the fact that sometimes it is more important for people to win than to live well and comfortably with each other.
In my city came the real heat, I love it. I decided to get away from painting and go for a walk. I like to sit in the shade and watch people.
Very soon I saw a beautiful couple, a man and a woman. They had a heated discussion. What do you think they were talking about?
"Blah blah blah" - said the man.
"Blah-blah-blah" - the woman said in response.
Yes, they quarreled. But I was more amazed how they did it. Not hot and emotional, but sad, as if it happens every day. They quarreled by inertia, walked by inertia.
He gave her some arguments in a rather aggressive form, but she did not yield to him and retorted his every replica.
At that moment, I felt damn sad. My walk was spoiled.
I thought: "There is a wonderful world around them. Beautiful weather, nature, there are many flowers around. What prevents you from simply enjoying this moment? Their obstinacy and stupidity.
After all, this couple could hug and kiss, after a walk to go to the movies, drink wine, have sex. But no, they both prefer war for the little things. Just because she ALREADY started, and it was not their rules to retreat."
Do not misunderstand me, I do not want to give you advice at all: "Eliminate the quarrels and just keep quiet."
Not. This is bad advice and it does not fit all situations, because many people are sometimes so afraid to express their opinion that they choose an unhappy life.
I would rather vote for "Eliminate quarrels and just keep quiet in a relationship." Do you know why?
Because your relationship is the only area of your interaction in life that you build completely yourself.
You yourself regulate the pace, create dynamics, set your personal boundaries. Everything depends on you. If you are so afraid of keeping silent during critical moments, if you don’t know how to negotiate without aggression, because you are afraid that your partner will crush you with your opinions and complaints, then why do you need all this?
Relationships are not a battlefield where you need to protect a territory from being captured. This is a zone of personal comfort, care and tranquility. In a full relationship there is no place for battles.
You can be a warrior in life and win any battle. Our whole life is a struggle, isn't it? But in the love relationship of this struggle should not be. In a relationship, you must rest from problems and go together, and not be stressed.