I don't know if that could help some people but today I learned to discriminate pain, maybe you were like me, you had more than enough pain on your plate, maybe you were abused, you went through trauma, just life hitting you with a brick in the face because well it doesn't care and most of it is out of your control, I don't like pain and most people don't,
My stance on all pains was that I needed to numb/avoid it one way or another, you could go from scrolling mindlessly to excessively playing video games to smoking or drinking to even more unhealthy activities, trying to just stop suffering temporarily, as long as maybe you didn't hurt nobody and was not too destructive of your health / finances, because well I didn't know how to deal with it and hoped that I could just hop back into facing life afterwards,
The thing is that I think there are 2 types of pains, the passive and the active ones :
the passive pains are caused by things you often can't directly control, they may be really the bad news of life, things that happened to you, they sometimes have no meaning or reason to happen, I would say this is the type of pain we don't want on our plate (ex : abuse, loss, toxic environments,...)
the active pains are caused by things you can directly control, they are a byproduct of the choices we make, things that you make happen, they have often some meaning and reason to happen, sometimes they're also messengers of an issue going on that needs to be solved, this is the type of pain we want on our plate (ex : training, working on a goal, hunger,...)
The problem I had was that I never really discriminated pains, I felt them equally, and so equally hated them, it's understandable for the passive pains, but I missed a lot from avoiding active pains that I would call the good pain, because I think that most good things and even happiness are behind the good pain, it may even be the only way to feel high quality happiness (opposed to the bad quality happiness of immediate gratification in modern society)
So I think it's important to discriminate pains, welcome active pains, because it's ultimately good for our lives.
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