If it was a mutual decision to split up it should not be much of an issue as you both want the same thing. You may even be able to stay friends without it causing to much hurt!
However if you were the person who got dumped and you wanted the relationship to continue it's going to be toughest on you the most. You did not want your partner to leave and it hurts like hell that they did!
Every day will be a roller coaster of emotion. Especially if you loved them! If you've got it bad, the 1st night you will probably cry yourself to sleep! You'll wake up from your dreams the next morning, only to be met with the realisation that they are no longer part of your life. The heartache returns and more tears follow! It will be tough to get on with your life, but you will trudge through the day best you can. Eventually by the end of the day you may be feeling a bit better and will have tried to put a more positive outlook on things, but when you wake up the following morning you will be met with the same feelings of loss and again more tears! Unfortunately this will keep on happening for quite sometime until you come to terms with your loss.
The problem is that it was not your choice to split up and you still want them back with all your heart! The more you think about it the more you want it! You can't control the choice they have made. You may think you can win them back and possibly you can, but if you're hurting bad, more than likely you'll just end up pushing them further away. You've got to except their decision and move on with your life. You will want to see them with all your heart, but the more you do the more damage you will cause. Making them feel guilty will not win them back! Pleading for them to reconsider will just make them more certain of their choice to leave. You may think you can talk them around and by all means you can try, but if you are hurting bad and they are adamant about leaving you, then more than likely you'll cause more damage than good! Trust me stay away! There is more chance of them coming back to you if you stay away than there is if you hang around. Your heart will tell you different, but it's your head you've got to listen to not your heart!
There is also another good reason to stay away! More often than not, even if they assure you otherwise to save your feelings, there is someone else on the seen! I'd say a vast majority of the time this is fact! The rest of the time is just because you've taken them for granted or messed up in some way and hurt them! If it's just the latter then you've still got a good chance of talking them round, but if there is someone else already on the seen or waiting patiently in the background for their turn! Then do yourself a massive favour save your feelings and your pride! I know it's horrible to think about it and probably makes you mad as hell, but that's the whole point! As soon as this comes to light! You won't be able to hold back your feelings and a massive argument will more than likely blow up between you. If they have left you for someone else! Then walk away and don't turn back!
So for now lets just forget about that very painful thought and concentrate on how you are going to take control of your feelings and repair your life! Firstly you need to except their choice to leave you. This won't stop the pain but it will bring you one step closer to moving on.
Then unfortunately you are going to keep on repeating the daily roller-coaster of emotion cycle until you jump over the 2nd hurdle. You need to make it your choice to move on and not be with them! Your previous partner has already done this so they are one step ahead of you! You need to do the same! It's not easy to come to this decision, but the sooner you do, the sooner you will feel more like your normal self. You need to choose to live your life for yourself. You need to come up with as many good reasons as possible to justify your reason for moving on and living for you and not them! For example your justification could be 'I no longer want to be with my previous partner anymore as they have turned away from me and hurt my feelings! If they can't appreciate what we had and are willing to throw it away, then I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to move on and start living my life for me not them'! Pile on as many good reasons as possible on top of this as you can. Once you have done this and you really mean it! You'll start to feel a lot better about yourself as you are taking control of your life going forward.
Start thinking of all the things you can do to make you happy! If you've been broken hearted more than likely you've not been eating properly. Treat yourself to something you really like to eat! Don't stay at home moping! Get out there and start living! Spend more time with close friends and family who love and appreciate you. Start a new activity like dance classes, join a gym! Exercise especially running is an excellent way to burn away a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. It will also help improve your faceque and make you feel a lot better about yourself too.
Being single has it's plus side, just as being in a relationship has it's plus side too. When we are involved in a relationship we make a lot of changes and compromises in our lives in order to suit our partner and make the relationship work. Start thinking about all the things you've changed in your life for better or for worse. Maybe you stopped watching certain types of TV because it got on their nerves. Maybe you stopped eating certain food that you enjoyed because they didn't like it! Or perhaps you stopped seeing certain friends you really liked because your partner did not approve of them. Whatever it is, dig it out and if it makes you feel good to think about it, then do it and relish in the fact they can no longer stop you.
Start seeing and interacting with a lot more people, the more people you interact with the more opportunities their will be to feel good about yourself, you are probably not ready to start dating yet, but give yourself some time and at some stage you will be. You may not feel it now, but you will love again.
Every person in this world and that includes you, has the ability to make a difference. You may not see it or feel it at this moment in time, but you are special, you are unique! There will be many people out there who have similarities to you, but no one is exactly the same as you! You are special in your uniqueness, embrace that fact and if you don't know what's so special about you! Make it your goal to find out! Ask the people you like or love in your life what they like most about you. You may be pleasantly surprised at what they come back to you with.
Finally I'd just like to wish you all the very best of luck going forward. It's not an easy task getting over someone you love for either party involved and it maybe sometime before either of you are completely healed, but hang in there and trust that things will get better. Most of us have had to feel what you are feeling now at some point in our lives and have pulled through to become stronger people. Have faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will pull through too.
