KatHouz
It was late at night and there were only a few avatars in the KatHouz, a secret chat room on a social network on the internet. There was Sphynx who run the place, A Bombay, A Burmese, A Siamese and a Maine Coon. Everyone choose cat breeds as avatars. As a group they were the AlleyCats. They were Bast’s AlleyCats from the KatHouz.
No one really remembered how long that they had been meeting like this. It just kinda happened. It seemed that they were old friends even though none of them had ever met in person. Actually they knew little or nothing about each other...or Bast. That would change tonight.
It was ‘Tall Tale Tuesday” and each was trying to outdo the other in telling whoppers. These were the last ones left...all the other contestants had retired from the field of battle, soundly defeated.
Bombay: “.......So there I was.. There were Ragheads in front of me, Ragheads behind me...and Ragheads on both sides of me...and one of them launched an RGP.”
MaineCoone: You mean an RPG?
Bombay: ….yeah...that.
[pregnant pause]
MaineCoone “........so? What happened?”
Bombay: “...Well what do you think? ...I died. The Camel Jockeys done blew me plumb up”.
MaineCoone: LOL
Burmese : LMAO
Siamese : ROFLMAO
Sphynx : [gigglefits]
a few seconds of appreciative silence and then
Sphynx “I remember when I died”
Suddenly no one was laughing...nor even thinking about levity. This was no joke….it was serious. Somehow they could tell. The mood of the KatHouz changed abruptly. The Sphynx, Bast by name, was the proprietor of the KatHouz and everyone liked her. Most of the patrons were old curmudgeons and they thought of her as a granddaughter they had never had. If she was sad that means heads needed to roll….and they were just the cool cats that could do it.
Maine Coon: “What happened hon?.
Sphynx: It was a little over ten thousand years ago, just before Ragnarok. I was in an accident. It was pretty bad. My body was all squished and tore up. My daddy saved my mind...but my body wasn’t salvageable. Is that kinda like dying?
Bombay: Ummmm….yeah. That’ll do until something worse comes along. Worse thing that’s ever happened to me was that I lost some parts. You know..the odd hand...a couple of legs...like that.
Burmese: I’d say so. Waking up in a burning truck and finding out I was on fire was bad enough for me. Nothing like that though.
MaineCoon: You guys.Ya’ll lead dangerous lives. I’ve never had as much as a scratch doing what I do...if you ignore the odd ‘gator rassel, cottonmouth snake bite, or shark encounter. Easy Peasy.
Siamese: Nothing bad ever happened to me. I just went quietly insane. Sanity is overrated.
Everyone was a bit silent...waiting for the young Sphynx to say more.
Finally
Sphynx: Why do you think you are insane?
Siamese: I have two cats that ride with me. Real Cats. They talk to me.
[dead silence]
Finally
Maine Coone: Want to talk about it hon? If you keep it bottled up it’ll only fester.
The Sphynx remained silent for a bit longer.
Sphynx: yeah...I do. I want my mommie and my daddy back. They’re gone though. Maybe talking about it would help. ”
[Another pregnant pause.]
Sphynx: “I”ll show you mine if you all will show me yours.
[a regular pause]
Sphynx: Tell I mean. I’ll tell you my story if you tell me all your stories. For real. No MaleBovineRectalExcretion.
[relieved laughter]
MaineCoone: LOL
Burmese : LMAO
Siamese : ROFLMAO
Bombay: [gigglefits]
They all agreed...The Maine Coone volunteered to go first…since his was the least exciting…
His name was Sloan...this is Sloan’s story.