Some people often look at you and believe they have known everything about you, they will never move close to you to know you as a personal, just because they know your tribe, your skin color, your name and so on they will admit they know you all and this is so wrong because it is called stereotype. This is what I always face on my side.
I remember when I was serving, just because I'm a Yoruba lady and I served at the south-south part of the country, I had this challenge, if people asked if my name and I responded the next thing I hear is that Yoruba people with party, Yoruba girls are loud, dramatic and lover of parties, I always hear this constantly, just because other people love to part does not mean I love it,
I’ve heard people say we talk too much or that we are not loyal. It’s funny and annoying at the same time because when I hear those things regularly, most times I will just look at myself and laugh inside. I don’t even like noise or too much crowd. I enjoy staying indoors, being by myself, or doing calm things but once they know I’m Yoruba, they already start putting labels on me. One even told me, "I don’t like Yoruba girls, they are too extra". I didn’t even know how to reply.
Another time, someone told me I’m too quiet, and that quiet people are dangerous or fake. One thing I love to do is to always mind my business, I'm quiet and that is my nature, you can never judge me with that, I love to keep my distance and that doesn't mean I'm dangerous or pretend to be who I am not, I’ve always been a quiet person. It’s not because I have any bad intention or because I’m angry. I just don’t like talking too much unless it’s necessary but people will see you and start thinking you’re proud or forming. That thing used to hurt me before. I even tried to change and be more outspoken just so people would like me, but it seems that I was acting, and deep down I knew that’s not who I am.
Sometimes, stereotypes are not even about tribe or behaviour. Some people will judge you based on your skin colour. Dark-skinned girls will be called rough or strong. Light-skinned girls, they will say they are proud or fake. If you’re chubby, they’ll say you eat too much or you’re lazy. If you’re slim, they’ll say you don’t eat. It’s like people are never satisfied. They’ll just create a story about you without asking you anything.
One of my close friends is Yoruba and served the country at the northern part of the country, he was so good and served at one of the best companies after service one of his boss called him and complimented him on how good he was and how he would love to retain and employ him but one big problem was his tribe, he said he's from the southern part of the country and he can not employ him, he judged him based on his tribe or maybe what he had heard about people of his tribe, this is wrong and there is no how the country would move forward if we are segregating other tribes. These are the kind of things that make people want to hide their identity just to survive.
People will always talk and say things based on what they see or what they have heard in the past about your culture, I experience this a lot, people judge me based on my tribe. Most of the time I just ignore, I don’t always have the strength to explain myself. But one thing I know is that knowing who you are is very important. Once you know yourself, people’s wrong opinions won’t shake you too much.
I’m also learning not to stereotype others. It’s easy to judge someone because of one thing you heard about their tribe or their background but that’s not fair. Everyone is different. Even twins are different. It’s better to take time to know people instead of guessing who they are.
This world will always have people who judge. But I will keep being myself. I won’t change to please anybody. I’m proud of my name, my roots, my calmness, and everything that makes me different.
This is my response to this episode of hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w174e01 which the topic is tagged STEREOTYPES
