Last weekend I had to attend a wedding ceremony of an old friend. She was that friend who we grew up with from our children's Sunday school days together till we parted ways when we had to leave for school. Our family is very well in touch because they still attend church together and our mothers are practically best friends.
The timing was perfect, before I came into town I had no knowledge of the wedding but when the mother came visiting my sister she saw me and insisted I attended.so I got the invite to attend.
I had mixed feelings about going to the church for Her wedding because the last time I set my foot in my family church was on my wedding day, August 2020 Even before then it had been years but I had no choice because my mum is a deaconess and it was her pride and joy that I was able to Wed in the same altar I was dedicated as a child.
Wedding in my mother鈥檚 church came with lots of obstacles and challenges, we were this close to just calling a random pastor to bless us at our reception that day but mothers would always have their way. But it was a long annoying 2 hours.
I was supposed to have my white wedding in Lagos state in April 2020. Hall booked and most things paid for till covid 19 happened, we waited till around June and we noticed other states like Edo state were opening back up and events were happening but under strict rules but Lagos was still on serious lockdown so i and hubby decided to have our wedding here in Benin. We just couldn't wait anymore.
We told my mum to inform the church since that was what she wanted and she confirmed they had agreed on the date August 8 by 10.00 am. On August 7th few hours before my traditional wedding, the pastor in charge insisted he needed to see us face to face even after several calls from him over the weeks.
We left all we were doing and drove to the church, the pastor requested to see us because he noticed in our picture my husband had a beard, he needed to see him so he can explain why he needs cut the beard off before the main wedding day and that is the only condition he has before he can wed us.
It was really funny, HE SHOULD CUT OFF HIS BEARD FOR A 2 HOURS SERVICE.
I could see the pain in my partners' eyes and how he tried not to exchange words with the pastor, I blamed my mother because we wanted a small garden wedding and we had pastors from my husband's church present and available to bless us so we told her to resolve it because there was no way he was cutting off his beard.
We went back home to prepare for our tradition, I could hear my mum making calls to all the elders of the church, pastors even the supreme head just cause of beards.
There was some pastor that believed that it doesn't count for an outsider because he is not a member and others were in support of the cutting so those in support didn't attend the wedding. we had just one pastor on our side who volunteered to anchor the wedding but my partner had to use a facemask to cover his beard.
Just to honor them he trimmed off most of his beard for them but it wasn't enough they wanted it all gone.
The church ceremony was weird, we could see side talks from the congregation and the altar. The pastor assigned was a student pastor who barely understood what he was doing. The service was done lackadaisically just because we refused to comply with their demands. I was so pissed, my partner was always reminding me to smile that it was my day, not theirs.
Even my cameraman couldn't get great pictures from the church ceremony, we had to return to our hotel for a proper photo session before the reception because we didn't have time in the morning for pictures because of the endless call from the pastor, threatening us with a fine if we even come a minute late.
My view from my seat during the wedding
Now sitting there in the congregation after 2 years and seeing the same pastor who refuses to wed us, Wed this couple with so much joy just because the groom is beardless just makes me feel a certain type of way.
Well, it's all in the past now.
