It's been almost two years married and over 5 years of knowing my husband I can say I truly enjoy being married. You have no idea how stressful the dating phase can be, especially the stage before courtship when you have to try to look appealing, not just for your boyfriend though but for yourself.
I know a lot will argue and say they never had to do extra to get any guys attention or for anyone but let's be true to ourselves if not for good appearances and compliments from here and there you won't be putting in too much effort with the makeup, new clothes, or even trying to use cutleries for your chicken when the Nigerian in you want to devour the meat with your hands.
You get what I mean😂
I am so glad I don't have to go through that stage again, but I am not saying I don't still Put in the effort to look good for my partner but I am more comfortable doing it.
But lately, I have been questioning myself if I have become too comfortable in marriage, like where do I draw the line between Being just comfortable and overly comfortable. Before I get too relaxed to the stage that we lose the attraction between us.
So I had long thought about the areas in my life and how I was doing from a female perspective though and here is how I have analyzed myself using a scale of 0-100 to measure how I have been doing in these areas
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HAIR /MAKEUP
The first time we met I didn't have any makeup on and I had one old braid that I hadn't removed for a while, the meeting was so sudden that I didn't have time to prepare. I remember asking him what his first impression was about me, and he commended the fact that I didn't have to do too much to look pretty (wash), and sincerely from there on till date I have had more hair bad days than I can count
But funny enough my partner prefers me on my natural hairstyles rather than weaves or wigs, the other day he had to ask if I wasn't tired of putting on wigs every other day. Even I know how uncomfortable wearing one for a whole day can be for me but I can not be caught u fresh.
If I put on a makeup no matter how small, he must always say it's too much, even when I just have a powder on. He just killed my ginger for even trying, then since the baby arrived I sincerely can't remember where my makeup kits are and I cannot be bothered.
I remember during the holidays seeing my sister rush to get her wig brushed and put on before she had to pick her boyfriend's call, I remember those days I did that too when we started as a long-distance relationship. but now I pick the call anywhere at any time no matter how I look.
I even see some trends where girls sleepover at their boyfriends' houses with wigs and make-up on all night. In my opinion, that is extreme and uncalled for but yh girls will be girls.
In as much as my partner loves a natural look, there is one thing he can never stand “HAIRNETS”
My days of hairnets were over before it started thanks to hair bonnet😂
So in this category for HAIR/MAKEUP, I think I should say 50/50 between being just comfortable and overly comfortable. thanks to his choice of liking all things natural.
HOME CLOTHES
I remember how my mum parked a box of wrappers for me on my wedding days saying I should sew some and use the others at home when I want to tie wrappers 😂. The way I laughed and told her that I would not be that wife that would tie wrapper in her house.
But It's just been 1 year and over 6 months and has tried to avoid the temptation of using it because the heat in the country is not helping matters.
Don't get me wrong, using wrapper as your house cloth is not bad at all, even most men rather see their wives on it for their pleasure so whichever rock anyone's boat but for me, I am grateful for my partners' wardrobe, my go-to for all things house clothes.
I’ll score myself 30% here Even if my partner would not agree because I have taken possession of his wardrobe.
EVERYDAY HABIT.
There are lots of habits that I can swear by that I didn't do while dating, like passing wind 💨 in front of my partner. When we got married my husband had to ask me how long I would keep running to pass wind. till a day we were stuck in traffic for almost 5 hours, there was nowhere to run to and it happened. the joy my husband expressed I had no idea where it came from.
We are now partners in crime he said...But that was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence because I think that getting married is not enough license to fart the way we like in the presence of our partners.
Just my thought
there are other habits too like gisting together in the toilet as your partner takes a dump, waxing in the present of your partner, and so much more
But my question remains how far is too far with being comfortable?
I know the level of comfort varies from couple to couple but don't we need to put the effort from time to time to keep the relationship burning hot with flames of love?
I believe one should be free but also try to be deliberate about keeping the romance alive and in all these personal hygienes is a MUST, very compulsory before someone become all messy and dirty all In the name of being comfortable with their partner.
I would really love to know what you think about your comfort zone with your partner, how comfortable is too comfortable? How far is too far with being comfortable??
