A friendship usually comes about when people have similar interests, we most likely bond with people that we can relate to. Like in chemistry, we attract certain personalities, and repulse others. We associate with people that we like, and form positive bonds.
Now, just as there are positive friendships, there can also spring up negative ones. That sort of relationship often arise out of personal cravings, when we mainly connect with people because of what they can offer us. I should start off by saying that no one is perfect, and that it's perfectly normal to have cravings, and also to associate with people in trying to reach our goals. But when we have a friendship in which we hide our intentions, we can give room for something much nastier. Because then our friendship becomes a sort of poker game, where some of the cards are on the table, but some are hidden, and perhaps even hidden under the table. Friendships like this might work out pretty well in the beginning, but holding secret grudges against one another is a sign of a corrupt friendship, where one uses others evils against them for personal gain, instead of confronting him or her about it.
Acquaintances
Like-mindedness gives rise to friendships, and friendships give rise to acquaintances. When we make friends, we can also meet their friends, and networks are formed.
So then groups are created, and the groups may turn out more or less strong, depending on how well the people get along and have time for each other. If the group, or acquaintance, becomes very strong, a sort of crew, we might start to become afraid of it. Because we all have to follow certain customs in our acquaintances in order to sustain them. This means that groups can become demanding and controlling over us, which we are hinting at with the term 'group-mentality'.
Then, as I compared bad friendships with poker, the acquaintances might also take a similar shape. But in this case we can not only hide our cards, but also pass them around secretively to each other, "to speak behind each others backs". So we keep track of one another, and everything funny about us is carefully noted, and can be used against us. This is what we call bullying, to leach on others weaknesses in order to empower ourselves.
So it seems obvious that personal cravings is the main fuel for an acquaintance moving in a bad direction. The group becomes a source for people to harness their personal passions. We put our soul into it, and we get some form of reward. We have to bring something, wether it is positive energy, resources, money, or something else. Because no group wants to grow too large, then it loses its 'consensus'. So to keep our spot, we follow the rules.
No relationship comes without setbacks, but I think it may be easier than it seems. Because good things come to good people, so if we all act honorably and kindly, etc., we will probably never attract these sort of problems to our lives.
But if we encounter similar relationships, it can be a source of great pain. So I think we should always be careful not to feed this negativity, because it can hurt people. We should also remember that it's not always the bullies who are the cause of the problem, it's rather a reaction from the group itself. So don't go after specific people, instead work through the group to sort out the problems. Because if we change our contributed energy to our relationships, we can change the direction in which they move, meaning that people will either have to kick us out or accept the new terms.
Same thing on a bigger scale, our culture might not always be our friend and can put false ideals on us. But in the end it is we who fuels it, and when we try to conquer and obey the ideals, it's most likely we who are being conquered and controlled.
So I believe the recipe for a positive relationship is to keep things simple, to be negotiable and to sort problems out as they arise. That way we build strong bonds, and spin the wheels towards a good direction, turning our acquaintances and friendships into helpful engines.
