My introductory post enduring the most challenging growth
being a solo parent of 3
Let’s get started knowing a bit about myself!
Hi everyone! I am Errhem T. Navos, my family call me Erem while my friends and colleagues call me Ermz for they are having a hard time pronouncing my e correctly. Being a beginner in this kind of journey gives me a feeling of a bit strange and nervous. Nonetheless, I am very much inspired and delighted to share with you my experiences, daily activities and the transformation in my self-development journey of this so-called life.
About Me
I am the eldest in the family and I had 1 twin brother named Jhonny and Jhynnos. My parents were not capable to send me to college for their source of income was not enough. My father is a carpenter while my mother is a housekeeper.
But still I wanted to finish my schooling, for I know the fact that life was even more so hard if you do not get a stable job.
I graduated in one of the best colleges here in Butuan City, located at Northern part of Mindanao at Father Saturnino Urios University/ FSUU or formerly known as Urios College dated 2003. I took up Bachelor of Arts major in Economics and graduated with an Award of Best in Thesis. During my college days, I was a Student Assistant/ SA or the so-called working students in our school. I worked for at least 4hours a day and in return the school paid my whole semestral fees. I was assigned at the College of Engineering Department. I did clerical down to janitorial works. I even proctored students during their exams while their instructors are out doing some chores. I do have a side hustle plucking and shaping their excess eyebrows as an additional fund for my allowance. While on the other hand I am also a working student in one of my family’s friends. I do all the household chores; I only slept for a couple of hours or just say a maximum of 3 hours per day just to cope up with my studies and in return they provided me my daily needs, accommodation and allowances.
I will not be able to share pictures of my past experiences because during those times cellphone is not my priority. Though having one is part of my dream. Moreover, after I graduated in my collegiate years, I decided to pursue working abroad for I really wanted to help my parents.
Because I was a working student during my college days, I was not able to enjoy my life just like normal kids. That is why after I graduated, it felt like I just got out of my cage and had an amazing night life with friends. Then I met my husband, we dated for a couple of months and I got pregnant and was not able to fly for work abroad.
We lived together in one of the most populated cities in NCR or National Capital Region of Metro Manila which is Pasay City. I gave birth to my eldest daughter dated April 21, 2005 and named her Alyssa Neshe. Unfortunately, life with him is like a rose… It has its own thorns. His true colors already come out and we had a lot of disagreements, I do not talk back to him when he is angry, for I am not raised by my parents to talk back when being scolded. But things got worsen for he always hurt me physically, verbally and emotionally. I am so martyr and I just let it happened for I am truly, madly, deeply in love with him just like the song goes Hehe he and I was also thinking he will change and will not do it again. On the other hand, while being traumatized I do not have enough strength, I am ashamed of what other people thinks about me. I am so afraid of what would happen for me and my baby. But because of my love for him I just let it pass thinking he may change his attitude towards me.
I even gave up my 1st job at Cebu Pacific Air Inc as RESA MANILA or Reservation Agent Manila - BPO department because I was bleeding & was advised to have a complete bed rest during my 2nd pregnancy. Last March 8, 2011, I gave birth with my second child and named him after his father Ernesto aka Bunsoy. A month after giving birth with our second child, his attitude got worsen. Due to my past traumas with him, specially if he raised his voice, it affected me a lot, my self-confidence even my knowledge and skills is nowhere to find. I do not know most of the things, I do not know how to cook even the simple dishes. I do not know almost everything. Worst scenario during those times is that he almost hit me with a hammer on my head and I was so afraid and just prayed with the Lord. After the said incident when he is not around, I hear voices in my head talking about me, voices of our neighbors standing in our front door or windows talking about me. When I opened the door and windows nobody was around. I cried out loud with the Lord asking for his help that I do not want to be mentally ill due to depression for my kids were still too young. With the help of my brother and my cousin I was able to buy for a ticket through sea travel of 2Go bound home at Tolosa, Cabadbaran City, Northern part of Mindanao last June2011 without my husband’s knowledge.
Raising the 2kids on my own without their father`s help & support was so hard on my part specially in our place because of age discrimination, marital discrimination. But still I am grateful because my family helped me a lot. I was able to have a job in Cabadbaran City as a Cashiering Supervisor of Princity Inc, one of the retail industries in our place then became a Store Supervisor after a year.
My husband arrived at our place last January 2016 and I decided to be with him again in the name of love of our children. For I do not want them to grow without a father, to grow with a broken family. I delivered again another baby last November 29, 2016 and we named him Thirdy.
Unfortunately, when the problem is the attitude itself, it is very hard to solve especially when the said person is not willing to change. For the first time in my life, I was able to report an abuse in our police station by March 2017 for he hurt my 2kids and said that he will take out the life he had given to our daughter. All my issues with him, anxieties come back to life. But there is a big difference, when I was the one he was abusing I just let it pass, but when if it is all about my kids that he abused, my mother instinct arisen, I was able to stand out for my kids.
And let him left our place by April 2017. It`s been almost 8years after we separated and hence still, he was not able to support the kids. He just always said he does not have enough money to send. Though I definitely know I can tap government offices to claim for the said support still I opt to choose not to do it. I just made him realized that I was able to support my kids, I was able to redeemed myself and stand without him by my side, without his help, without his maltreatment.
Up to this very moment, I am still standing strong trying to become the best version of myself being a solo parent of 3 and will still be standing strong for my kids. Just for them not to experience all those difficulties I encountered in life.
I am connected for 5years now in a very established retail industry here in Butuan City of Caraga Region. Also, I genuinely looking forward to this new experience. Thank you everyone for reading my introduction blog, for walking through the story of my life. I am deeply grateful for your time. I eagerly await to your response and I appreciate your feedback. A lot of inspiring stories awaits you.
Again…... Thank you so much.
Pictures are all mine edited by Canva.
