I was reading this post yesterday from 
Once I crossed the half-century mark I started to notice quite a few changes, not so much in me but definitely within my inner circle. The pandemic had a way of quickening the timeline in so many ways, snatching away older relatives and even some friends before their time.
Now nearly halfway through my fifties, physically, I’m grateful to feel like I’m the best shape of my life. I’m also very lucky to not be experiencing any cognitive decline. In fact, thanks to creatine, my recall and memory seem better. Much of the credit for this can be given to five grams of creatine a day, good nutrition, swinging heavy kettlebells regularly, decent sleep, cardio, and one more important element that I’ll elaborate on a few paragraphs later.
Just this year I have noticed one major change. More and more my inner voice whispers to me—"Take a break.", "Don't do those last few reps.", "It's okay not to take a walk today.", “Just stay in bed a little longer.” Almost like a test of my resolve, thoughts of comfort, rest, putting things off and all of their other progress-stifling relatives are hanging around a little too much for my liking.
Each time this happens I can’t help but recall Toby Keith’s song, “Don’t Let The Old Man In.”
The song lyrics speak so much pure truth because, as I’m discovering, at a certain point this is what aging feels like. The old man, my future self, is whispering to me. At a certain point tou must make up your mind if you want to surrender to the inner voice or decide resist it, as long as you can. No doubt about it, aging is inevitable, but each time you resolutely say “no” to the whispering inner voice it's a little act of rebellion.
I’ve watched the quality of life of those in my inner circle who’ve surrendered and those who have resisted and those who resist have won out every time. I think back to my Dad and his older sister. Both were riddled with aches and pains from arthritis and suffered from dementia but they kept active and lived their best life almost until the very end.
My eighty-four year old aunt would often tell me she still felt like she was sixteen until she looked in the mirror and saw an old woman staring back at her. My aunt Barb was one of my favorite humans, her favorite saying was, “If you keep going, you can keep going.” I loved them both so much and admired them deeply for their rebellious natures. Come to think of it, this particular trait ran strong through my entire paternal line. Each of them had so much fight in them, so much spunk.
I’ve had other relatives, friends, and acquaintances who’ve surrendered to the old man/woman way too soon. Each of these people have ended up with a much worse quality of life and their freedoms stolen from them long before they otherwise would have been. Yes, genetics play a role in how we age but our attitudes, perceptions, and expectations influence the outcome of our lives so very much—especially as we get older.
The truth is none of us know how long we have left despite how many birthdays we've celebrated. As I age this gives me a strange sort of comfort. For me, I try to focus less on worrying about it and more about the quality of life in the present.
On the surface level the act of rebellion is never the easy choice at any stage of life. Also, I know that old man’s voice will only get louder from this point forward and more difficult to ignore. Then I’m reminded of how rarely something that comes easily is worth much of anything at all. Surrendering seems so much more costly, in a multitude of many ways.
So, I choose rebellion. I choose to not let the old man in. I choose to ignore his whispers for as long as I possibly can.
All for now. Thanks so much for reading.
