I'm a romantic and always will be. I believe in soulmates but as I get older and see how much life can change us I also think it can be tricky. I used to think things like -- shared goals, world views, and dreams were the biggest factors determining happiness and relationship success. As I age I realize that -- kindness, tolerance, somewhat similar overall motivation and activity levels, and philosophical/mental flexibility are even more important. As we grow and evolve at different rates and sometimes different directions as a couple we don't remain static individuals so we must grow together and somehow maintain compatibility. If I could tell my younger self anything it would be to steer clear of women who aren't interested in becoming better versions of themselves, women who aren't willing to change their minds when presented with valid facts, or are overly rigid or overly critical. These are the things that have brought me the most misery when it comes to relationships. There are definitely people out there who we're "in synch" with and relationships can seem effortless but the trick is learning how to determine how to make it last and if it's worth it. Sometimes a relationship is only meant for "a season" and not a lifetime.