As Father’s Day approaches I can’t help but remember all the things my dad, Verlo Walton, taught me. He taught us that there’s a handful of things in life that you just shouldn’t skimp on in general but it was my mom that taught me to never skimp on haircuts.
My mom and dad.
My barber of nearly ten years, Chris, decided to switch careers about a year ago. I wasn’t happy about it but didn’t expect the man to stay in a career that didn't fulfill him anymore just so he could give me great haircuts. I don’t know about you but finding a good barber is like stumbling across an honest mechanic, once you find one you just don’t want to give them up.
So I set about the arduous task of finding a new barber. I searched the Twin Cities far and wide before I discovered someone as good as Chris. My new barber, Dalon, at Fellas Haberdashery turned out to be equally as talented. It took a few cuts for us to get to know one another and, over the past year, we’ve ended up having some really wonderful conversations. Dalon, as I’ve discovered, is a very forthright honest individual which I totally respect.
I learned that Dalon worked in a hair transplant clinic as the barber for the clients before coming to Fellas. I came in about once every five weeks regularly and he began dropping ever less subtle hints that I should consider a new style because my hair was thinning and sharing stories about other clients in the same predicament. After Dalon did this a few times I began thinking about it more and more. His cuts did a good job of camouflaging this but I was getting more self conscious about it. Actually, my forehead has been creeping up ever higher since I was in my mid-twenties.
I started imagining how I’d look with no hair. Until you go through with it you don’t really know. Ten weeks ago I told him I was almost ready and on my next visit I might be ready to pull the trigger. Five weeks ago I sat in the chair ready to do it but I chickened out at the very last minute. Two days ago I gave Dalon the green light to shave it all off. Holy shit. Talk about a drastic change.
I remember a teacher I had in high school who grew the hair on one side of his head about a foot long and, with the help of copious amounts of Aquanet, swirled it in a spiral pattern over his bare scalp like a bird's nest or a soft serve ice cream cone. I remember the teacher's forehead always glistened with sweat, he never looked quite comfortable. It seemed like he constantly feared the world was going to discover his big, poorly kept, secret. It’s weird, I don’t remember this teacher’s name or much about him but I remember his hair and how uncomfortable he seemed in his own skin. I definitely didn’t want to be like that.
So now I’m going through the transition of getting used to this. To me, it feels simpler and more honest. It’s definitely easier to get ready in the morning and I’ll be spending far less money on haircuts and products. It may sound superficial, because it’s just hair after all, but it’s been a process of surrender.
Time moves swiftly but the process of aging is a cycle of long seasons, of either surrendering your ego or surrendering to it. It’s a process of letting things go and accepting change or fighting it, either way you choose isn’t always easy or comfortable. We can learn to let go of these things peacefully and gracefully or we can cling to them in desperation. I’m of the opinion that one of these two choices is much less painful in the long term and this is the one I’ve chosen.
So I’ll begin my fifty-second trip around the sun always wearing a hat during peak UV time. I have a very different look but I’m still the same person inside. I have many wishes for this next year of my life – to keep learning about the world and myself, traveling, writing (as long as people wish to read my words), and experiencing new things.
I’m very grateful for this life and the opportunities I’ve been afforded. I’m going to try to live this next season of life to its fullest, as best I can and I encourage you to do the same. Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there!
All for now. Trust your instincts, invest in you, live boldly, and take chances.
~Eric Vance Walton~
(Photos are original. Gif sourced from Giphy.com)
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