Because love - and this is my way of looking at love so you may disagree - when it is real, it is detached, it is not as if two people are tied to each other, but as if they are bond together. Then they can feel free and loved.

The question remains "When is love real?"
Since one falls into love, as it is, the reality of love needs to find a grip beyond the spontane character of falling in love. Love cannot be detached in my experience, it unfolds its potential within the tie as much as within the bond.

The moment when I feel tied is the moment when the other person gets the opportunity to make me feel the bond. Conversely, the moment I feel the bond, it is not a tie. But nevertheless, the bond co-exists alongside the tie. The two could be described as a "duty" and a "free choice", the one I have to do, the other I want to do. A marriage is never such that I always want to, but also have to.

Being bound to each other requires feeling attached. Since the two are always alternating, the times when marriage is more like a duty than a freedom are definitely a lived experience. The art is to be willing to change it when it appears too much of a tie into a bond.