A very beautiful and touching poem.
Your example with the butter makes me smile. It's things like that between spouses, those little things in everyday life, knowing each other through their habits. How is it now? Does the butter stay on the counter or does it go back into the fridge?
You could put butters and toothpastes, clothes and utensils there that were favoured by the deceased. Then to return to one's habit. It's also about making a gesture, isn't it? That there is something we do and understand in common with the death of someone else. Friends would notice and ask why the glasses are now the other way around and we would say, "Oh, that's for my sweetheart. He did it that way and for a while I will do it that way too." Besides the intimate acts to understand the common ones. Otherwise we would be truly poor beings if we had nothing that could be understood, as it were, when people pass away.

It is appropriate to tell one's own how one wants to be buried.