Thank you for your interest and also sharing some of your experiences towards singing and dancing.
Yes, drugs can help to overcome the barrier between the apparent self and the real self. Whereas, if I put it this way, a real me is difficult to define. It is formed by my moving between other people and what frame of meaning is found there. It is found more in feelings than in definitions. One feels whether one is "fully there" or only supposedly.

The dance and singing rituals I attended as a child left an impression that is difficult to put into words. I received something there that gave me a sense of well-being and belonging, and yet at the same time also left something missing.

What was it like for you to sing in the band and resonate with an audience?

How many tunes do you know by heart and do you manage to get yourself over a difficult time, for example, when you sing out loud, in the case that you do so when you are alone?

Until she died, I always heard my mother singing when she was downstairs in the kitchen or doing her chores. I also had the impression that her singing alone was perhaps a continuation of the communal singing she had experienced.

I began to miss something many years ago at gatherings where people meet and where there is only talk. As if we were only brains, but not bodies.